41 replies to this topic

[Fill the Dill]

39 mate

None of my business really Weeti, but were there any signs or anything?

[Weetbix]

None of my business really Weeti, but were there any signs or anything?

Absolutely nothing - total shock which has made it harder to deal with

[Fill the Dill]

Terrible.

[The Robinator]

I knew Gravy, I used to car pool with him sometimes to the Brisbane games as we were both Gold Coasters. We used to chat on those drives, mainly about golf, but, we'd ask each other how our other halves and families were going. He never gave any indication he was struggling with any issue to me. I feel a terrible sadness when I think of his last moments, the feeling of total desperation and loneliness, I cry when I think about that.....even now as I write this. Gravy was a good man who was liked by all, he will be missed.

[Old Poppy]

Absolutely nothing - total shock which has made it harder to deal with

Could it have been an accident, Weeti?

[Weetbix]

Could it have been an accident, Weeti?

I don't think so Ray. I wish it could be but I understand it's clear.

Edited by Weetbix, 06 July 2016 - 05:20 PM.

[GhettoGolfer]

39 mate

 

That's my age!!! What a shame. 

 

My dad passed away in early June this year, and thoughts of mortality has been quite prevalent in my thoughts of late. More so around the fragility of life more than anything. 

[HitNhope]

Such a shame.. We always ask why??? Unfortunately the only person who can tell us is no longer with us.  Such a mongrel thing is the many forms of depression.  Some you can pick, the majority you can't.  RIP Gravy and strength to his wife and family to deal with the sudden loss of what sounds like one hell of a guy.  Big tick to Weet as well.

Edited by ComNAGAmish, 06 July 2016 - 07:42 PM.

[Jaybam]

Jesus. I'm totally lost for words. As another man battling the dreaded D word i just can't comprehend going to the extreme. I look at my kids and they get me through each and every day. I wish Gravy had reached out to any one. Such a terrible loss and waste. I only met him a couple of times. But was enough for me to sit here and shed a tear. Rip. May you join the golfing gods up there.

[Weetbix]

Thanks guys

[Toph]

To get back to one aspect of the OP. I agree that the SEQ annual comp should be renamed after Gravy.
We need an appropriate trophy which I am happy to finance. It should, I feel, be fitting - maybe a surfer/golf theme or a gravy boat theme or both??? There used to be posts on this site about a chap who handmade unique golf trophies- maybe he could be commissioned?
Also a name - maybe?? I suggest
The Annual Gravy Boat Race

Maybe we could use it in some way to increase awareness of male health and male mental health??

It also strikes me that this is a predominantly male site. Maybe there should be a new forum for male health, one that has topics on male health issues and especially mental health. Let's face it we men are not so good at talking about these things to our families and friends. If so one forum rule should be a no derailment or BS allowed rule IMO. What do you think Madam?

Can we as a forum become a little force for good in male health?

Maybe I'm just crapping on. Say nay by all means.

[Weetbix]

Thanks Toph

Ideas for the name are very welcome

We are looking at a trophy that combines golf and skateboarding to remember Gravy by - that feels to me like the right combination

Appreciate the funding offer - the club will handle the trophy but we may have a collection and give a donation to some group around male mental health in Gravy's name

I like your forum idea - maybe start a couple of topics in the lounge and see how it flies?

[Dave-still-swinging]

Sorry for the loss

I have recently attended training in this area as I'm counsellor by day

It's called ASSIST ....you don't need for be human service worker or counsellor to do suicide training ..many managers do it or workers ...Google assist training

It knows no bounds ...rich or poor. ....young or old ...in fact over 65's are just s vulnerable as youth.

My last point and I tell this to many ....it's ok to ask anyone about suicide if you get a hunch or gut feel about someone that isn't right. Asking will not and I repeat not make them do it

It's allows the space for them to say ...geez I'm glad you asked because last year I was and now I'm ok. Or no I'm not ok and I need help .....these are usually the standard replies and I pretty much ask every client I meet. We now know people can die without a underlying mental health problem. But if they do have a mental health condition they are more vulnerable

The training was unbelievable ...I had to talk to guy pretending to be standing on a bridge ...they had video with bridge on screen to add authenticity

I came out with renewed passion that we need to do more and it starts with those around us. Keep an eye out and if you're in doubt it's ok to ask.

Be aware of people giving away possessions and oddly a sudden improvement from being very very depressed to suddenly quite happy ...why because they may have made a decision and they are relieved that they will end the pain. This is your typical no one saw it coming type scenarios. He was happy finally,

It doesn't mean we need to fear happiness

Just means people that go from deep depression to very happy quickly ...be aware not alarmed.

Edited by Dave-still-swinging, 07 July 2016 - 09:56 PM.

[Mr_C]

Oh man, this is terrible. His poor family. I'm lost for words. Only met Gravy twice but each time, he was nothing but a gentleman. This is just So very sad.

[CaNadiAn MiCk]

Thanks Toph

Ideas for the name are very welcome

We are looking at a trophy that combines golf and skateboarding to remember Gravy by - that feels to me like the right combination

Appreciate the funding offer - the club will handle the trophy but we may have a collection and give a donation to some group around male mental health in Gravy's name

I like your forum idea - maybe start a couple of topics in the lounge and see how it flies?

Thanks Weetie for the updates- yes a real shame to hear about this.

 

We had a earlier member pass under similar several years back too didnt we. Dr Gribbs? Has there been more in our ISG community that we may not know about?

 

Im happy to promote an awareness campaign or something through here as a way to keep the problem at forefront and give a way for people to discuss if they need. As well to raise funds.