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Charlotte Dawson- "Dealing with Depression"


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#91 Tolmij

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:01 PM

Thanks Bully, it is good to have support, what you just did takes a lot of courage.
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#92 Francie

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:01 PM

Bully.....thanks for sharing.   I must admit my heart did go out to you when I heard that you split with your wife.    I hadn't, long before gone through that myself and was concerned how you were coping considering I had great difficulties myself.

 

I had no idea about your depression but can understand how low you must have felt.   I have a good mate who had to retire early from work, due to depression, and the recent dealings with him and his partner have been difficult for all. 

 

I wish the best for you and if I can help in anyway, don't hesitate to contact me.


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#93 Bluethunda

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:02 PM

Bully for what it's worth, I'm proud of you for sharing your story with us. To be openly honest is something we all need to do, no matter how hard it hurts. Take it a minute at a time mate, time heals.
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#94 Weetbix

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:07 PM

Can you stop agreeing with me. I'm starting to feel scared.


I think you'll find you're agreeing with me!
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#95 CaNadiAn MiCk

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:14 PM

WOW  some very amazing people in this forum. Im very proud to be part of this group - even in my small way.  Good on ya Bully and Dave, Commish and everyone else here for having such an open discussion. You all have probably helped heaps of others here that may not have the courage to speak up yet. Maybe they will or at least go get some help.

 

Im dealing with a brother at moment (he is in US) that may be in a similar situation- hooked on meds for years, and dealing with looking after elderly parents. Im looking at his situation much differently at moment and has given me some ideas on how I may help.

 

Thanks everyone.


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#96 dave_1_

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:15 PM

Well done bushy - I help people for a living so I have skills in that area ...it's nothing magical as I said to you - some people can fix cars some fix fridges ....I can help people ....that's it.

Thanks for the kind words bushy

There are 2 quotes that sit above my desk

"What doesn't kill you will eventually make you stronger"

"A problem shared is then a solvable problem"

To solve problems we must get help from someone ...our friends are useful but can hinder also by saying "let's just get on the turps" and you'll meet someone else .....while good intended it's not helpful

Oddly since I became a counsellor my golf game has err slid .....in fact so much so I just want to hit it and don't have any care where it goes ...and frankly I'm fine with that ...I'm getting stress relief from other thing.

Bushy did two or three things really well.....

He changed jobs ....this adds freshness to your life
He started exercising more and this is huge
He sort help

And a 4th which is ...he was brave and faced the problem front on and took it on.....

So admire that ....well done and anytime you need a chat you know where I am ...

Lastly don't just accept what the gp says ...get a referral to psychologist or counsellor,.....they have broader picture of what's going on ...doctors look at things from a medical perspective most times and while that has it's place (I'm not ant medication)

I always say take a deeper at things and you then understand what's causing a problem instead of just band aiding a problem.

Lastly ...sorry that's second lastly

Prevention is better than cure .....we can prevent a lot of mental health problems by being proactive in looking after a our mind and wellness......

Health, family, exercise, good diet, yoga, meditation, mindfulness, mateship, less stressful career and learning to cope with stress will all assist in prevention.

Edited by dave_1_, 26 February 2014 - 09:18 PM.

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#97 Bully_BushRanger

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:30 PM

I greatly appreciate everyone's well wishes, more than you know. I don't want to be treated any different, especially at any golf days. Hang shite on me, just as you would before. That is not why I chose to share my story.
Part of dealing with depression is sharing what you have gone/are going through. I have been told this several times and read it as well.

I hope it inspires someone to get help. Someone who knows in the back of their mind that something is wrong.
Take the first step. It's scary, but it can be done.
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#98 Commish

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:32 PM

Well done Bushy on putting your story out there.  It would have been difficult to start things off, but I bet you feel a whole lot better after it.  You have more friends here than you realise bud, so talk away and we shall listen and help.  If you are seeing a Psychologist, take note of the 'cognitive processes' they will talk about, very useful when used in the right manner.  One of the best that I was told of was turning every negative into a positive.  When you are really down, you figure, "How the f uck do I do that?"  After a while it becomes second nature, because every negative DOES have a positive.

 

Also, Psychologists cannot prescribe meds only Gp's and Psychiatrists.  Dave_1 may be able to put this better, but to me, a Pshychologist helps you to cope with and possibly overcome 'Depression" but in most cases will not be able to get you over it.  A Psychiatrist, although I believe half of this lot are as dusty as their clients, will help you understand, control and recover from depression.  This in some cases will require the taking of meds, but as depression is associated to brain patterns and other neurological stuff, meds are sometimes the only option, even if they are short term. 

 

Once again, BRAVO mate.  A hard story to tell, especially when it involves the partial loss of loved ones.  That's definitely a NEGATIVE...  The fact that you have not lost them completely is a POSITIVE.  It's as simple as that. 

 

Just like the others, can't give you a manhug, but hope this suffices for the time being.  :wub:  :blink:

 

Makes me want to trundle back on down to The Frog and have that game we missed out on.


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#99 dave_1_

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:55 PM

Well done Bushy on putting your story out there.  It would have been difficult to start things off, but I bet you feel a whole lot better after it.  You have more friends here than you realise bud, so talk away and we shall listen and help.  If you are seeing a Psychologist, take note of the 'cognitive processes' they will talk about, very useful when used in the right manner.  One of the best that I was told of was turning every negative into a positive.  When you are really down, you figure, "How the f uck do I do that?"  After a while it becomes second nature, because every negative DOES have a positive.
 
Also, Psychologists cannot prescribe meds only Gp's and Psychiatrists.  Dave_1 may be able to put this better, but to me, a Pshychologist helps you to cope with and possibly overcome 'Depression" but in most cases will not be able to get you over it.  A Psychiatrist, although I believe half of this lot are as dusty as their clients, will help you understand, control and recover from depression.  This in some cases will require the taking of meds, but as depression is associated to brain patterns and other neurological stuff, meds are sometimes the only option, even if they are short term. 
 
Once again, BRAVO mate.  A hard story to tell, especially when it involves the partial loss of loved ones.  That's definitely a NEGATIVE...  The fact that you have not lost them completely is a POSITIVE.  It's as simple as that. 
 
Just like the others, can't give you a manhug, but hope this suffices for the time being.  :wub:  :blink:
 
Makes me want to trundle back on down to The Frog and have that game we missed out on.


Yep that's pretty accurate
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#100 Goldy

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 06:58 AM

I greatly appreciate everyone's well wishes, more than you know. I don't want to be treated any different, especially at any golf days. Hang shite on me, just as you would before. That is not why I chose to share my story.
Part of dealing with depression is sharing what you have gone/are going through. I have been told this several times and read it as well.

I hope it inspires someone to get help. Someone who knows in the back of their mind that something is wrong.
Take the first step. It's scary, but it can be done.

 

I'll still be hanging it on you...take it to the bank ;)


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#101 Fill the Dill

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 07:34 AM

I started this thread as the death of Charlotte Dawson really hit a chord with me.

 

And I wanted people to know that mental illness can strike anyone.

 

And thought if one person reads this and can see they aren’t alone than it would be worth it.

 

I never imagined some people would be so open with their stories.

 

It has really touches me to see people open themselves up for the selfless reason of hoping to help people with mental illness and to bring attention it.

 

You can feel very vulnerable and helpless at times and it’s extremely brave of them share their stories.

 

Commish is someone I have met through here and played several rounds with since I started playing again.

We have never spoken about our struggles and I never suspected that we had both fought our own battles.

We are just two guys who enjoy golf and each others company.

 

I have spoken with dave_1_ about the issues I have had to deal with in the past.

Dave knows I laugh and shake my head at most stuff he posts and occasionally agree with him.

Just like we do with most of our mates.

The one thing I can tell you about dave_1_ is that he is a really genuine guy with a huge heart.

He is good at his job because he cares about people and just wants to help.

But he is still a nutter at times.  :lol:  :lol:

 

Everyone sharing there stories has made me want to share my story, which I never thought I would and haven’t shared with many people outside my family.

 

If it can help one person then it’s worth it.

 

Sorry if it jumps around a bit, I’m just going to tip it as it come out.

 

Growing up I always felt on the outer with people, even though I had friends I was always left out or given a hard time.

 

I played cricket and soccer up until I was around 13-14.

 

I realised that I loved golf more.

Loved playing with my Dad, who was a scratch player when younger.

I loved being able to be in control of my game and felt at peace on the golf course by myself or just hitting balls.

 

I left school in year 11 as I found it hard to cope at school.

Dad said if I left school then I had to get a job and he gave me at a job at his work and I worked my way up there over the 8 years I was there.

 

At about the age of 21 I stopped playing golf due to ongoing issues with political bullshit at my home course.

From the age of 24-28 I had a couple of different jobs and bounced from one friend to another and one girl to another.

 

Deep down I knew something wasn’t right.

My behaviour was all over the shop.

 

Somedays I couldn’t get out of bed and at other times I was up for days on end.

My other issue was anxiety and social anxiety. My anxiety led to having OCD.

Socially I was the life of the party with my close friends, but if there was one person there I didn’t know I would hardly talk.

 

My sisters 21st was a cruise on Sydney Harbour, about an hour before I rang my mum and said I wouldn’t be coming.

I said I was sick.

In reality it was my worst nightmare. Being on a boat with a lot of people with no escape, I freaked out at the thought of it.

 

Behaviour like this caused a lot of tension in our family over the years.

My parents took me to the doctor when I was about 8 and said that there was something not right.

The doctor’s advice was just take him home and love him.

 

When I was 28 I got a great job that paid really well and travelled a lot.

I really struggled to visit customers due to my anxiety, but once I was dressed for work it was like I had a shield on and had a job to do.

 

My depression started getting really bad.

I had never been a big drinker or drug user.

One night a friend of mine was doing cocaine and being at the point where I didn’t really care anymore I decided to try it.

Over the next 18 months or so this went from a Saturday night thing to a daily habit.

It got so bad that I lost my job and came clean with my parents, which was the hardest thing I have had to do in my life.

Being the most loving people I know they said everything will be fine and we will get through this together.

 

So when this happened just over 4 years ago they took me initially to our family GP.

We had a long chat and he prescribed me an anti depressant to be able to function in the short term.

My mood became better but the side effect was the huge weight gain.

 

I had to wait just over 3 months to get an appointment with a psychiatrist who had done a lot of work with drug addicts and mental illness.

 

After a few sessions with my psychiatrist he changed my antidepressant and we continued our regular sessions.

After a few months I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder.

This was the greatest moment of my life as I felt I finally understood who I was.

Slowly we introduced a mood stabiliser over a few months and was feeling great and my mood was consistent and I started living my life.

 

After about 8 months I started feeling really robotic and took myself of my medication, big mistake.

I then went back to some crazy behaviour and disappeared for a few days, which lead to my parents reporting me missing.

 

My behaviour during this period has lead to me having a criminal conviction against my name, now that is hard to say as only my family and partner and best friend know that, but also feels good to say.

 

I went back to the psychiatrist and started again, this time was more open and honest with him.

Just over 3 years on I’m better than ever.

And in this time I have met the love of my life.

 

I first came on ISG because I was told Ewan Porter was promoting his book and I had been told I was mentioned in it, along with my family and some friends.

 

When I saw what he had written I saw red and wanted blood.

 

I got what I needed to out of my system and realised through talking with people, that they all knew what he had written was all lies and half truths.

And he threw a lot of people under the bus.

I realised there was no point carrying around this anger.

 

I copped some crap when I first came on here and rightly so, I have given plenty back since.  :P

 

Once the Ewan stuff dropped off I didn’t come on here for a month or so.

When I came back on I started to enjoy talking about golf and started thinking of playing again.

And the passion for this game that some people have is infectious, like Weeti, I love how passionate he is and it has rubbed off on me.

 

My first day was Barnesy’s golf day, turning up playing and meeting new people was so nerve racking, but I had to challenge myself.

 

Since then I have made some good friends on here and look forward to meeting more people over time.

 

A bit like Commish, ISG this silly forum on the internet has helped me get back into life, playing golf and more important making new friends.

I never ever thought this would happen when I first joined ISG.

 

The last thing I want to talk about is HOPE.

 

I’m not religious in any way but I do some work with a Chaplin from The Salvation Army.

We talk about HOPE and how we all need hope in our lives.

 

He has really helped me forgive myself.

If your best friend was in trouble you would be there for them, yet we are our own worst critic and are harder on ourselves than anyone else.

 

All our emotions and actions start with our thoughts.

But over time we can make a conscious effort to control and change our thoughts, which will change our emotions and actions.

 

We can only control ourselves and shouldn’t waste time and energy over things we can’t control.

While some of my actions over the years have been wrong, that doesn’t change who I am.

I’m a good person, with good morals and have just made some bad decisions.

 

The past is the past, no matter how much we feel regret it won’t change the past.

We have to forgive ourselves to be able to move on.

 

If this helps one person who reads it then I will be happy.

 

Sorry for waffling on.

 

Look forward to more golf and laughs with my mates from here and look forward to meeting more over you in the future.

 

As Bully said, I don’t want anyone to change the way they treat me.

I still have plenty of Hosswit in me.

 

I tell this in hope anyone with similar issues can see they aren’t alone and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Thanks,

Andrew.


Edited by MaxxOn, 27 February 2014 - 07:36 AM.

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#102 Old Poppy

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 08:25 AM

Maxie, you left out the raunchy details. Sorry mate but you don't win the brownie ( Notting Hill).
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#103 Tolmij

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 08:26 AM

As commish would say hugs are in order. As we know you have helped me on this forum. Your past is your past, you are a good person Maxx and it is a privalidge to take the pee out of you.

Tol
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Intended to break 90 this year, not going well.

Concentrating just getting round the course

#104 Fill the Dill

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 08:40 AM



#105 Fill the Dill

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 08:40 AM

Maxie, you left out the raunchy details. Sorry mate but you don't win the brownie ( Notting Hill).


That is a great movie Iggy.




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