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Charlotte Dawson- "Dealing with Depression"


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#76 Fill the Dill

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 06:34 PM

I think I said a great bloke. :)
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#77 Old Poppy

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 06:34 PM

We are trying to help Maxie rediscover his golfing roots. He sort of drifted off course and needed realigning.:)
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#78 Tolmij

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 07:02 PM

Don't know you personally Igg, but some of the posts (majority actually) indicate exactly what you have outlined in the post above.  You have been around golf for a while and obviously at a very high level.  I can only imagine at that level, then yeah the pressures are greater and yes when ones self esteem and confidence can suffer wild extremes.  I have a mate that I play with on occassions (some on here know of him) who you would swear is prepared to neck himself by the 4th or 5th hole.  Instead he just swears his way around the course, making the commitment to never play this f ucking game again.  Well not until next time anyway.  Please don't think for a minute that I was having a dig at you when I quoted your earlier post, as I can assure you I wasn't.  It gave me the opportunity to say something I wanted known and it gave me the perfect in.  It is amazing how uplifting it can be to actually talk openly about things that you held very close to your chest for so long.  Generally to ones own detriment.
 
Other than that, Maxxon reckons you're not a bad bloke :D  :D so that just reinforces my own thoughts. ;)


It's amazing how much of what you posted was similar to my wife's experiance, the main difference is she tried to do without meds and the eventual stroke cured her depression. The hardest thing is actually admitting it and talking about it, even though my wife could talk she could not leave the house. It was a very difficult time.
Intended to break 90 this year, not going well.

Concentrating just getting round the course

#79 HitNhope

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 07:35 PM

We are trying to help Maxie rediscover his golfing roots. He sort of drifted off course and needed realigning. :)

 

It's working at treat then.. :)



#80 HitNhope

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 07:36 PM

It's amazing how much of what you posted was similar to my wife's experiance, the main difference is she tried to do without meds and the eventual stroke cured her depression. The hardest thing is actually admitting it and talking about it, even though my wife could talk she could not leave the house. It was a very difficult time.

 

Hope everything is back on track and she is doing splendiforously Tol.. :D



#81 Tolmij

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 07:52 PM

Hope everything is back on track and she is doing splendiforously Tol.. :D


Thanks commish, been ok for just over 12 months apart fom one or two potential panic attacks. As you well know its always in the back of your mind. It's funny where help can come from, ISG saved my sanity a few times when my wife was at the bottom. I could only guess what you all go through, I know how it affected myself and I was only the support.

Yours is a good story, amazing how strangers can help. I have only met Turf recently but feel I already know many on this site, your good self included.
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Intended to break 90 this year, not going well.

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#82 HitNhope

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 08:09 PM

Thanks commish, been ok for just over 12 months apart fom one or two potential panic attacks. As you well know its always in the back of your mind. It's funny where help can come from, ISG saved my sanity a few times when my wife was at the bottom. I could only guess what you all go through, I know how it affected myself and I was only the support.

Yours is a good story, amazing how strangers can help. I have only met Turf recently but feel I already know many on this site, your good self included.

 

Glad to hear it Tol.  Mate, we are what we are on this site and I dare say apart from a very very very small minority, the rest would come to the aid of a fellow ISGer in a heartbeat.  I think that has already been shown on more than a couple of occassions.  Whether we care to admit it or not, there are many a bond has been forged through this site.  Even when the people involved have not even met.  Such is the amazing thing that is Iseekgolf...  


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#83 Bully_BushRanger

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 08:26 PM

Guys,

 

I would just like to thankyou for sharing your stories about the battle with depression. I had been thinking about starting a thread detailing what I have been through recently, but then I just happened to click onto this thread (I'm still not sure why) and read that there are at least 8 others who are battling or have family members with depression.

 

I knew I wasnt the only one in the world with depression, but at times over the last 7 months, it felt like I was.

 

I have only recently been told I have depression, and the period from July to December was one of the worst I have gone through.

 

Looking back, I believe that I may have had it for sometime and was probably caused by stress initially. We (my wife and I) built a house on 10 acres  and we decided to go off grid. We ordered a wind turbine and solar panel setup that we were told would take 8 weeks to install. It took 8 months! Once it was finally installed, we continually ran out of power even though we were told the system would run our house. The guy tried to charge us about $4000 extra after the installation was done. We took him to VCAT and won our case. Two days later, there were homemade spikes on our dirt road. (We were the only ones living on that part of the road). I got 3 flat tyres, my wifes car got 1. He put the debt collectors onto us several times. I even got a veiled "death" warning via email, (I didnt tell my family about the email) The police could do nothing on both counts.

 

While all this was going on, we found out that there were other people who had "purchased" systems from this guy. Some hadnt even received anything even though they had paid substantial deposits. I took it upon myself to try and organise these people to see what we could do about this business, ie. contacting Consumer Affairs, the ACCC, etc. The list of people just kept on growing, and hearing their stories put more pressure on me to try and do something. We even attended another VCAT hearing in Melbourne for one of the other couples, where Security had to be called into the hearing several times to calm this guy down and to protect the VCAT member.

 

Our family lasted just over 12 months on our property. In July, my wife said she didnt want to be with me anymore. She said I was always cranky, and was always snapping at her and the kids (teenagers). She said I didnt talk anymore, and she thought I had depression. So we separated.

 

Also, last december, my mum had a large operation to remove her kidney and bladder due to cancer. We thought this was it and everything was ok, but they have found more cancer and it is inoperable. Its now just a waiting game. The funny thing is, she is coping much better than I am!

 

I moved to Melbourne (living with sister and brother-in-law), had a job, but lasted only two and a half days. I just couldnt go back there, and didnt know why. So I was unemployed with a great deal of time on my hands. Time you spend thinking. Thinking bad thoughts, thinking why me? There were days I did not go out of my room. I just couldnt bare to go outside. I couldnt bare to go into the lounge room. I would wait until nobody was home, then I might step out of my room for five minutes then back in. At times I was a slobbering mess, (even now writing this). I just couldnt control it. I would have the occasional good day where I could go outside, even to the supermarket. I couldnt concentrate, I couldnt sleep. I would stay up till the wee hours, even though I felt tired, I couldnt sleep.

 

To make matters worse, I was looking for a job and would send off several applications a day, and not hear anything back. Self esteem was non existent. No employer wanted me, my wife didnt want me, why should I want me?

 

I was putting on a brave face when having dinner with my sister and brother-in-law and any guests they may have had. I was also doing this when I spent time with my kids. But as soon it was time for me to leave, I would just start crying and not be able to stop.

 

I eventually reached out to dave_1, as I remembered reading on another thread that he was a counsellor. He gave some sound advise as well as urging me to go see a GP, to get a referral to see a pshycologist. I would like to publicly thank dave_1 for his help.

 

Also I would like to thank some guys who have "asked how I was going?", due to the separation, but not knowing about the depression. I hope you know who you are. I will personally thankyou next time I see you.

 

I first visited the pshycologist in early December, and as fate would have it, I also scored a job a week or two later.

 

Since then, I have been feeling alot better within myself. I still have times when I can be a slobbering mess, but I am trying to get out more often, and obviously having to getup for work forces me to do this. But even on weekends, I try and get out, sometimes for a hit, sometimes just to go for a drive. The work is good as its full time Mon - Fri, and involves alot of walking, so not only keeps me healthy, but makes me tired. I am sleeping alot better than before as well. Work also occupies my mind. I am not "thinking" all the time about anything and everything and questioning myself. I beleive this has helped heaps.

 

I guess I am "lucky" in that I am not taking any medication. I did not request any from the doctor or the pshycologist. In fact the pshycologist wasnt that keen on prescribing medication. So maybe I am a "mild" case!

 

As for golf, whenever I did go out for a hit during this time, I found it very relaxing. Once again, all I was thinking about was hitting a little white ball into a hole. I was "happy". I love being on the golf course, it became my "happy place". I didnt care how I was playing, I still dont, as long as I was on the grass swinging a club.

 

I have put a plan in place where I hope to have my own place around June/July/August (prob just a rental) and this will be the start of something new.

 

Where to from here? Who knows???? I will just deal with it as best I can. Try and manage the down periods, and enjoy the ups!

 

 

To the guys affected in some way by depression, thankyou again for sharing.

 

To everyone else, please be aware of friends and family, and if you notice something different about them, ask them how they are. Try and start a conversation, get them talking. They will be defensive, but hopefully it will get them thinking, and this may lead to them doing something to get help.

 

Thanks for reading.


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#84 Weetbix

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 08:30 PM

Thanks for posting. Gutsy mate. Very gutsy.

Wish I could give you a hug right now, because I need one!
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#85 Bully_BushRanger

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 08:33 PM

Thanks for posting. Gutsy mate. Very gutsy.

Wish I could give you a hug right now, because I need one!

Im starting to blubber again....  


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ISG Vic 2013 MatchPlay Champion

 

ISG Vic 2014 MatchPlay Semi Finalist

 

ISG Vic OOM #3 Champion Sunday June 1st 2014 Heritage Henley Course (38 points with 2 wipes) Bout friggin time!!!!

 

ISG Vic OOM #4 Champion Sunday October 5th 2014 Sandhurst Champions Course (42 points with 0 wipes, 79 off the beater!!) Back to Back Baby!!!!

 

Caddy of the Year 2015 NWRGA

 

Kiwi "THE LEGEND"


#86 Jaybam

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 08:34 PM

Great post and good luck with your future plans. I found having goals/plans was the start of the recovery for me as well. With every succsesful tick off the list your self esteem also eventually returns.
Bully you have shared something very personal but congrats for doing it. It can only make you stronger.

#87 Jaybam

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 08:34 PM

Thanks for posting. Gutsy mate. Very gutsy.
Wish I could give you a hug right now, because I need one!


Can you stop agreeing with me. I'm starting to feel scared.

#88 Fill the Dill

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 08:48 PM

Guys,
 
I would just like to thankyou for sharing your stories about the battle with depression. I had been thinking about starting a thread detailing what I have been through recently, but then I just happened to click onto this thread (I'm still not sure why) and read that there are at least 8 others who are battling or have family members with depression.
 
I knew I wasnt the only one in the world with depression, but at times over the last 7 months, it felt like I was.
 
I have only recently been told I have depression, and the period from July to December was one of the worst I have gone through.
 
Looking back, I believe that I may have had it for sometime and was probably caused by stress initially. We (my wife and I) built a house on 10 acres  and we decided to go off grid. We ordered a wind turbine and solar panel setup that we were told would take 8 weeks to install. It took 8 months! Once it was finally installed, we continually ran out of power even though we were told the system would run our house. The guy tried to charge us about $4000 extra after the installation was done. We took him to VCAT and won our case. Two days later, there were homemade spikes on our dirt road. (We were the only ones living on that part of the road). I got 3 flat tyres, my wifes car got 1. He put the debt collectors onto us several times. I even got a veiled "death" warning via email, (I didnt tell my family about the email) The police could do nothing on both counts.
 
While all this was going on, we found out that there were other people who had "purchased" systems from this guy. Some hadnt even received anything even though they had paid substantial deposits. I took it upon myself to try and organise these people to see what we could do about this business, ie. contacting Consumer Affairs, the ACCC, etc. The list of people just kept on growing, and hearing their stories put more pressure on me to try and do something. We even attended another VCAT hearing in Melbourne for one of the other couples, where Security had to be called into the hearing several times to calm this guy down and to protect the VCAT member.
 
Our family lasted just over 12 months on our property. In July, my wife said she didnt want to be with me anymore. She said I was always cranky, and was always snapping at her and the kids (teenagers). She said I didnt talk anymore, and she thought I had depression. So we separated.
 
Also, last december, my mum had a large operation to remove her kidney and bladder due to cancer. We thought this was it and everything was ok, but they have found more cancer and it is inoperable. Its now just a waiting game. The funny thing is, she is coping much better than I am!
 
I moved to Melbourne (living with sister and brother-in-law), had a job, but lasted only two and a half days. I just couldnt go back there, and didnt know why. So I was unemployed with a great deal of time on my hands. Time you spend thinking. Thinking bad thoughts, thinking why me? There were days I did not go out of my room. I just couldnt bare to go outside. I couldnt bare to go into the lounge room. I would wait until nobody was home, then I might step out of my room for five minutes then back in. At times I was a slobbering mess, (even now writing this). I just couldnt control it. I would have the occasional good day where I could go outside, even to the supermarket. I couldnt concentrate, I couldnt sleep. I would stay up till the wee hours, even though I felt tired, I couldnt sleep.
 
To make matters worse, I was looking for a job and would send off several applications a day, and not hear anything back. Self esteem was non existent. No employer wanted me, my wife didnt want me, why should I want me?
 
I was putting on a brave face when having dinner with my sister and brother-in-law and any guests they may have had. I was also doing this when I spent time with my kids. But as soon it was time for me to leave, I would just start crying and not be able to stop.
 
I eventually reached out to dave_1, as I remembered reading on another thread that he was a counsellor. He gave some sound advise as well as urging me to go see a GP, to get a referral to see a pshycologist. I would like to publicly thank dave_1 for his help.
 
Also I would like to thank some guys who have "asked how I was going?", due to the separation, but not knowing about the depression. I hope you know who you are. I will personally thankyou next time I see you.
 
I first visited the pshycologist in early December, and as fate would have it, I also scored a job a week or two later.
 
Since then, I have been feeling alot better within myself. I still have times when I can be a slobbering mess, but I am trying to get out more often, and obviously having to getup for work forces me to do this. But even on weekends, I try and get out, sometimes for a hit, sometimes just to go for a drive. The work is good as its full time Mon - Fri, and involves alot of walking, so not only keeps me healthy, but makes me tired. I am sleeping alot better than before as well. Work also occupies my mind. I am not "thinking" all the time about anything and everything and questioning myself. I beleive this has helped heaps.
 
I guess I am "lucky" in that I am not taking any medication. I did not request any from the doctor or the pshycologist. In fact the pshycologist wasnt that keen on prescribing medication. So maybe I am a "mild" case!
 
As for golf, whenever I did go out for a hit during this time, I found it very relaxing. Once again, all I was thinking about was hitting a little white ball into a hole. I was "happy". I love being on the golf course, it became my "happy place". I didnt care how I was playing, I still dont, as long as I was on the grass swinging a club.
 
I have put a plan in place where I hope to have my own place around June/July/August (prob just a rental) and this will be the start of something new.
 
Where to from here? Who knows???? I will just deal with it as best I can. Try and manage the down periods, and enjoy the ups!
 
 
To the guys affected in some way by depression, thankyou again for sharing.
 
To everyone else, please be aware of friends and family, and if you notice something different about them, ask them how they are. Try and start a conversation, get them talking. They will be defensive, but hopefully it will get them thinking, and this may lead to them doing something to get help.
 
Thanks for reading.


Thank you Bully.

Much love mate.
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#89 Turfers Paradise

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 08:50 PM

Thanks for posting. Gutsy mate. Very gutsy.
Wish I could give you a hug right now, because I need one!

Thanks for posting. Gutsy mate. Very gutsy.
Wish I could give you a hug right now, because I need one!

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#90 Francie

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 08:55 PM

Thanks for posting. Gutsy mate. Very gutsy.

Wish I could give you a hug right now, because I need one!

 

:wub:  :wub:


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