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#1951 Commish

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    No Rhyme Nor Reason

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Posted 09 May 2019 - 11:53 PM

So many things that could be said.... So many things that won't.


  • OldBogey likes this

The key to success is to learn to do something right, then do it right every time. Oh I wish.....
Three time winner of the treasured WBT.
2012 ISG National Champs 2nd Round winner @ Robina Woods
2013 ISG National Champs 1st Round winner @ 'The Dunes'
2014 ISG National Champs - Top 10 finish - Played like a girl - MUNT GOLFER
2015 ISG National Champs - Deservedly crowned the National N.A.G.A.
2016 ISG National Champs 4BBB champion with Francie
2017 ISG National Champs - I was there and the only thing that saved me was more BEER.
2018 ISG National Champs Top 10 Finish & 4BBB Champion with Weetie.  

Hole in One - Rosnay GC, 157 metre Par 3 - 27th February 2015

 

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#1952 hack2489

hack2489

    WTF, I can change this now?

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Posted 11 May 2019 - 04:58 PM

A woman goes into a shop to buy a fishing rod and reel as a gift. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter where there's a shop assistant wearing dark shades. "Excuse me sir" she says "can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

The assistant replies "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.

He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's only $120.00".

The lady said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."

He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The assistant rings up the sale and says, "That will be $165.50."

She says, "But didn't you say it was $120.00?"

"Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $120.00, but the duck call is $30.00, and the catfish stink bait is $15.50."
  • Francie, OnaBogeyTrain, Sprtan52 and 2 others like this

#1953 Francie

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Posted 11 June 2019 - 11:32 AM

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

 

Engineer: "What's with these guys?   We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

 

Doctor: "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

 

Pastor: "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.   Let's have a word with him.   -   Hi George.   Say, what's with that group ahead of us?   They're rather slow, aren't they?"

 

George: "Oh, yes, that's the group of blind fire fighters.   They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

 

The group was silent for a moment.

 

Pastor: "That's so sad.   I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

 

Doctor: "Good idea.   I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

 

Engineer: "Why can't these guys play at night?"


  • Commish, RobNewy, Sprtan52 and 1 other like this
  • Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
  • Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
  • Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012
  • Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
  • Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
  • Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013
  • Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013
  • Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
  • Eagle - Par 5 - 8th at Cape Schanck GC - 18/3/2019
  • Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015
  • Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015
  • Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016
  • Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event
  • Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016
  • Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016
  • Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016
  • Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018
  • Captains Trophy winner (VPGC) - 2018

 


#1954 Francie

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Posted 17 June 2019 - 03:03 AM

I asked my boss, "What do you want me to do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap?"

 

He said, "Just pop it in the corner".

 

Four ******* hours it took me!!


  • Commish, Tochakka, Toph and 2 others like this
  • Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
  • Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
  • Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012
  • Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
  • Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
  • Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013
  • Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013
  • Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
  • Eagle - Par 5 - 8th at Cape Schanck GC - 18/3/2019
  • Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015
  • Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015
  • Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016
  • Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event
  • Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016
  • Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016
  • Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016
  • Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018
  • Captains Trophy winner (VPGC) - 2018

 


#1955 Birdie Blitz

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Posted 17 June 2019 - 09:03 AM

I asked my mate what's E.T. short for.
He replied "because he's got little legs"


  • iRON MiCK likes this

#1956 Francie

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Posted 18 June 2019 - 01:55 AM

A Chinese guy comes into the pub, stands next to me and starts drinking.

 

I said to him, "Do you know any of those martial arts like Kung Fu, Ju-Jitsu or Karate?"

 

He said, "Why da *** you ask me dat, it it coz I Chinese?"

 

"No" I said, "It's because you're drinking my ******* beer!!"


  • Commish, iRON MiCK, Sprtan52 and 2 others like this
  • Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
  • Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
  • Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012
  • Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
  • Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
  • Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013
  • Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013
  • Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
  • Eagle - Par 5 - 8th at Cape Schanck GC - 18/3/2019
  • Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015
  • Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015
  • Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016
  • Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event
  • Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016
  • Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016
  • Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016
  • Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018
  • Captains Trophy winner (VPGC) - 2018

 


#1957 Francie

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Posted 22 June 2019 - 05:33 AM

I saw a midget carrying a plasma.   I went over to him and said, "Hey do you need help with that plasma?"

 

He said, "**** off ya prick.....It's an Ipad."


  • OnaBogeyTrain and Tochakka like this
  • Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
  • Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
  • Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012
  • Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
  • Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
  • Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013
  • Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013
  • Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
  • Eagle - Par 5 - 8th at Cape Schanck GC - 18/3/2019
  • Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015
  • Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015
  • Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016
  • Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event
  • Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016
  • Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016
  • Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016
  • Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018
  • Captains Trophy winner (VPGC) - 2018

 





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