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Posted 20 February 2019 - 12:52 PM
- CaNadiAn MiCk, Weetbix, Sprtan52 and 2 others like this
“I will put my b***s in your mouth. And I will give you some money to make you feel good.”
Just Counting my money. “I don’t care about that match point—would you care if you were 23 and worth over $10 million?”
Nothing is my fault!
Posted 20 February 2019 - 12:58 PM
Don't get it? Doesn't open for me
Sorry mate you missed out on a classic
Posted 07 March 2019 - 03:51 PM
I want to thank everyone who stayed by my side while I figured out the meaning of the word "many".... It means a lot
Edited by Sprtan52, 07 March 2019 - 03:52 PM.
- Weetbix, hack2489 and Forrest Gardener like this
Posted 07 March 2019 - 03:54 PM
How did the phone go faster than the car?
it was in airplane mode.
- Forrest Gardener likes this
Posted 03 April 2019 - 10:27 AM
A teacher asks her class, "Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?"
Little Paddy raises his hand and says, "Yes Miss, it's Trudy Glen."
"No Paddy, the answer is Maid Marion."
"But Miss, what about the song? Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen."
- iRON MiCK and hack2489 like this
Posted 05 April 2019 - 10:26 AM
I've never been very good at Geography.....
But I can name one city in France.... that's Nice
Posted 16 April 2019 - 04:58 PM
I just spent over $350 to rent a limousine, only to find out that the fee does not include a driver for the car.
I can't believe I just spent all that money, and have nothing to chauffeur it.
- Weetbix, Francie and Forrest Gardener like this
Posted 03 May 2019 - 09:50 AM
A woman who is 3 Months pregnant falls into a deep coma for 6 1/2 months.
when she wakes up she asks the Dr what happened to her Baby...
Dr - You had twins, a Boy and a Girl, they're both healthy, luckily your Brother named them for you.
Woman - Oh no! He's an idiot, what did he call the girl?
Dr - Denise.
Woman - Ok, that's not too bad. What did he call the boy?
Dr - Denephew
- OldBogey, Francie, OnaBogeyTrain and 2 others like this
Posted 05 May 2019 - 08:45 PM
A wealthy Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store hi type of blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare blood type, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.
Finally a Scotsman, who had a similar blood type, was located. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds and fifty thousand dollars in appreciation for giving his blood.
A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate more of his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.
He phone the Arab and asked him; "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money.....but you only gave me a thank you card and a box of chocolates."
To this the Arab replied; "Aye, laddie, but I have Scottish blood in ma veins now."
- Weetbix, Toph, Sprtan52 and 4 others like this
Posted 09 May 2019 - 09:18 PM
They've invented a new golf ball which automatically goes into the cup if it gets within 15cm.
Note to self when I get one: don't put it in the hip pocket.
Olinda Golf Club
Warragul Country Club
People say that nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
West Gippsland Veterans Champion 2017 & 2018
Olinda Golf Club B Grade champion 2018
Warragul Country Club C Grade champion 2019
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