Jump to content


 

Photo

jokes


  • Please log in to reply
1959 replies to this topic

#1921 pegasus2357

pegasus2357

    Visionary

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 8929 posts
  • LocationI can see clearly now

Posted 13 December 2018 - 06:33 PM

Definition of a polygon...
A mission parrot

VTTP 006

 

 

 


#1922 Francie

Francie

    Inaugural Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37981 posts
  • LocationMelbourne

Posted 25 December 2018 - 10:48 PM

What did the policeman say to his stomach....

 

You're under a vest.  ;)


  • Turfers Paradise and Hat_Trick like this
  • Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
  • Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
  • Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012
  • Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
  • Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
  • Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013
  • Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013
  • Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
  • Eagle - Par 5 - 8th at Cape Schanck GC - 18/3/2019
  • Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015
  • Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015
  • Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016
  • Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event
  • Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016
  • Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016
  • Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016
  • Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018
  • Captains Trophy winner (VPGC) - 2018

 


#1923 Francie

Francie

    Inaugural Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37981 posts
  • LocationMelbourne

Posted 28 December 2018 - 02:38 AM

I swallowed a Dictionary.

 

It gave me Thesaurus throat I've ever had.  


  • CaNadiAn MiCk, iRON MiCK, Birdie Blitz and 1 other like this
  • Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
  • Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
  • Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012
  • Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
  • Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
  • Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013
  • Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013
  • Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
  • Eagle - Par 5 - 8th at Cape Schanck GC - 18/3/2019
  • Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015
  • Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015
  • Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016
  • Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event
  • Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016
  • Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016
  • Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016
  • Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018
  • Captains Trophy winner (VPGC) - 2018

 


#1924 BarnEsy05

BarnEsy05

    Holing It Out

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 32617 posts
  • LocationChopperville

Posted 28 December 2018 - 06:06 AM

I swallowed a Dictionary.

 

It gave me Thesaurus throat I've ever had.  

embarrassing-moment-smiley-emoticon.png


  • Francie and Birdie Blitz like this

A

 

DON'T LET THE BLACK DOG WIN...

 

HELP IS OUT THERE

 
 
7 Time ISG NSW WBT Winner

2013 ISG NSW WBT COC Runner Up

2015 ISG NSW WBT COC

2nd ISG NSW Life Member Inductee...Got Had a Jacket to Prove It

2012 ISG National Championships...Inaugural Supreme Putting Champion

2013 ISG National Championships...3rd Place 2nd Round - Moonah Links

2013 ISG National Championships...13th place...now that's desperately unlucky

2014 ISG National Championships...13th place...no other golfer could be that desperately unlucky 2 years in a row!

2015 ISG National Championships...21st place...that's farked

2016 ISG National Championships...waaaaay down the list.

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Yarra Yarra Satellite Game 

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Huntingdale Satellite Game

2016 ISG National Championships...Captain of winning NSW Team, SOO

2017 ISG National Championships...12th place...heading in the right direction

2017 ISG National Championships...Winner The Lakes Satellite Game 43pts

2018 ISG National Championships...Best left unspoken.

2013 Brass Yacht Winner (Inaugural)

2014 Brass Yacht Winner

2015 Brass Yacht Runner-up

2016 Brass Yacht Winner

2017 Brass Yacht Winner

2018 Brass Yacht Winner

 

 

HOLE IN ONE

2017 ISG NATIONALS ROUND 2 RIVERSIDE OAKS 17TH HOLE BUNGOOL COURSE FIRST SHOT OF THE DAY (SHOTGUN START)

 

Life Motto: "If it's free, it's for me!"

 

 

 

 

Team Live4BarnEsy...forever undefeated angel-2-smiley-emoticon.gif

 
Desperately Unlucky ©


#1925 The Robinator

The Robinator

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3025 posts

Posted 15 January 2019 - 06:02 PM

A friend of mine accused me of stealing his bowling ball, I said you can't pin that on me.


  • Weetbix, Birdie Blitz and Dellavedova777 like this

#1926 Francie

Francie

    Inaugural Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37981 posts
  • LocationMelbourne

Posted 29 January 2019 - 04:56 AM

A woman in the Jewellers was admiring a big diamond ring.   As she leans down for a closer look a little fart slips out; hoping no one had noticed she asks, "How much is that one?"

 

The Jeweller said, "Madam, if you farted looking at it, you'll **** yourself when I tell you the price."


  • OldBogey, CaNadiAn MiCk, Weetbix and 5 others like this
  • Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
  • Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
  • Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012
  • Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
  • Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
  • Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013
  • Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013
  • Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
  • Eagle - Par 5 - 8th at Cape Schanck GC - 18/3/2019
  • Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015
  • Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015
  • Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016
  • Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event
  • Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016
  • Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016
  • Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016
  • Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018
  • Captains Trophy winner (VPGC) - 2018

 


#1927 iRON MiCK

iRON MiCK

    Swing like......

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 16223 posts
  • Locationwww.iseekgolf.com

Posted 29 January 2019 - 09:09 PM

Why did the donut go to the Dentist?
To get a filling.
  • Dellavedova777 likes this

18.0 by Dec  2019  - 2.0 to go

 

2017 VIC ISG OOM "The Goldy" Overall Tour Championship Winner*

2017 VIC OOM #5 Gardiners Run Overall Winner

http://www.golf.org....icap/3010407931

"Team Grank" founding member

 

* LoL

 

 

 


#1928 Fill the Dill

Fill the Dill

    Mong

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 20821 posts
  • Location#teamgrank

Posted 29 January 2019 - 09:17 PM

Why did the donut go to the Dentist?
To get a filling.


R u related to, OB?

#1929 Weetbix

Weetbix

    Par in my sight

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 43175 posts
  • LocationBrisbane, Queensland

Posted 29 January 2019 - 09:47 PM

R u related to, OB?


Have they ever been seen in the same place together?
  • Fill the Dill likes this

Handicap
Best result: 2 over 74 at Hills International on 13 Feb 2016
Eagles: 21/10/16 17th Keysborough, 24/10/16 18th Woodlands, 15/4/18 16th Carbrook
Goal: A round at par or better!
Brisbane Fairways 2015 Club Champion

2018 Nationals 4BBB Champion with Commish
Winner: 2015 Nationals day 5 round at Links Hope Island
Winner: 2016 Nationals day 5 round at Woodlands
Winner: 2017 Nationals day 5 round at Bonnie Doon

​Winner: 2018 Nationals day 2 round at Kooralbyn

​Winner: 2018 Nationals day 3 round at Sanctuary Cove Pines
South East Queensland Golf Group - Treasurer
http://www.brisbanef...ssocialgolf.com - Treasurer


#1930 OldBogey

OldBogey

    Defining and analysing humour is a pastime of humourless people

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 25276 posts
  • LocationRegional Victoria

Posted 30 January 2019 - 12:14 PM

R u related to, OB?

No  

Have they ever been seen in the same place together?

Yes
Golflink
Olinda Golf Club
Warragul Country Club
People say that nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
West Gippsland Veterans Champion 2017 & 2018
Olinda Golf Club B Grade champion 2018

#1931 Old Poppy

Old Poppy

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 5949 posts

Posted 30 January 2019 - 12:29 PM

The schoolteacher was talking her first golf lesson.
"Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt?' she asked the instructor.
"'Putt' is correct," he replied. "'Put' means to place a thing where you want it. 'Putt' means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
  • OnaBogeyTrain and hack2489 like this

#1932 Old Poppy

Old Poppy

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 5949 posts

Posted 30 January 2019 - 12:58 PM

What do you do when your opponent claims to have found his ball in the rough and you know he is a liar because his ball is in your pocket?

Edited by Old Poppy, 30 January 2019 - 12:59 PM.

  • Weetbix, The B T, hack2489 and 2 others like this

#1933 Birdie Blitz

Birdie Blitz

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1107 posts

Posted 15 February 2019 - 10:00 AM

One for Valentines Day yesterday.....

 

 

I received a bunch of flowers today with all their heads cut off....I think I was being stalked...


  • Francie, hack2489, Forrest Gardener and 1 other like this

#1934 Birdie Blitz

Birdie Blitz

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1107 posts

Posted 20 February 2019 - 09:57 AM

51449955_10156087926132546_3984255274314


  • iRON MiCK likes this

#1935 Francie

Francie

    Inaugural Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 37981 posts
  • LocationMelbourne

Posted 20 February 2019 - 12:51 PM

51449955_10156087926132546_3984255274314

 

Don't get it?   :wacko:  :blink:     Doesn't open for me


  • Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
  • Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
  • Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012
  • Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
  • Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
  • Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013
  • Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013
  • Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015
  • Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
  • Eagle - Par 5 - 8th at Cape Schanck GC - 18/3/2019
  • Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015
  • Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015
  • Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016
  • Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event
  • Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016
  • Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016
  • Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016
  • Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018
  • Captains Trophy winner (VPGC) - 2018

 





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users