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Best short Jokes


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#16 jeepster

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Posted 26 December 2006 - 04:54 AM

What's the difference between Michael Jackson & a Coles shopping bag?
One's white, plastic & a danger to children - the other one you put your groceries in.



#17 Jerry Springer

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Posted 28 December 2006 - 07:02 PM

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out,
fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes
in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out
with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy
aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too
embarrassed to say."
ph34r.gif



#18 golfer69

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Posted 28 December 2006 - 07:11 PM

Thats way too long Jerry. (bet its the first time anyone's said that to you)



#19 Micah

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Posted 28 December 2006 - 07:57 PM

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?...Kick his sister in the jaw!

How is a hardware store the same as your mom?...They're both 95 cents a screw!

How many kids does it take to clean a toilet?...None its a woman's job!

What do you do if you don't want your gay neighbor hanging around in your front yard?...Hang him in the back!

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?...Nothing, you already told her twice!

What's the only difference between you and a bench?...A bench can support a family of 4!

What the only difference between you and this pizza?...This pizza can feed a family of 4!

hmmm...I know a whole lot more...but this is good for now! laugh.gif



#20 philip_the_five_iron

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Posted 28 December 2006 - 07:59 PM

whats an english hat-trick in cricket?
3 runs in 3 balls



#21 Fishman Dan

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Posted 28 December 2006 - 09:56 PM

Duncan Fletcher



#22 judgesmails

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Posted 29 December 2006 - 04:25 AM

QUOTE: Micah @ Dec 28 2006, 09:57 AM

hmmm...I know a whole lot more...but this is

good

for now! laugh.gif

You reckon???



#23 driver33b

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Posted 30 December 2006 - 08:10 AM

I'll never play mixed foursomes again with my wife...she was too nervous to tee off, I knocked it 230m down the middle...she topped it 6 feet...I put it 4 foot below the hole...she missed the putt...I tapped it in and said "5 well, that's a disappointing start"...she just glared at me and said "Don't look at me, I only hit it twice"



#24 TheBlade

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Posted 01 January 2007 - 08:01 AM

Chuck Norris is so tough he can cook two minute noodles in one minute.



#25 deek

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Posted 01 January 2007 - 05:34 PM

In most men one ******** is bigger than the other. Not Chuck Norris... both his testicles are bigger than the other



#26 wrxdriver

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Posted 04 January 2007 - 01:36 AM

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.


Chuck Norris was Chuck Norris in a previous life.


Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles" competition. Chuck Norris won by five.

Enjoy

Liam tongue.gif



#27 mrdenn1s

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Posted 04 January 2007 - 02:00 AM

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/



#28 Virge666

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Posted 04 January 2007 - 09:28 AM


I have some Saddam Hussain T-Shirts for sale . . .

They are a bit tight around the neck, but they hang well.

smile.gif



#29 Rodder

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Posted 04 January 2007 - 09:38 AM

Doctor: "Hello sir, your wife has been admitted to hosptital, she got bitten by a wasp between the 1st and 2nd hole while playing golf"

Husband: "I keep saying her stance was too wide!"



#30 glenn_18

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Posted 04 January 2007 - 01:01 PM

QUOTE: Virge666 @ Jan 3 2007, 11:28 PM

I have some Saddam Hussain T-Shirts for sale . . .

They are a bit tight around the neck, but they hang well.

smile.gif

ohh, too soon?






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