Topic: The Lounge / SUNBURN

A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in,the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked,
“What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor”?
The doctor replied,
“It won’t do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.”

Topic: The Lounge / Sisters honeymoon

hahahaha love it :)

Topic: The Lounge / a game for racin

While we’re being all thoughtful towards Racinfarmer

A Pic for Racin

Topic: The Lounge / a game for racin

Got 48 too

good stuff

Topic: The Lounge / Wife dead?

Gold !!!

Topic: The Lounge / Possibly the best come-back ever!

A divorced man meets his ex-wife’s new husband at a party.

Later, after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy and asks him:

‘So… How do you like using second hand stuff?’

The new husband replies: ‘It isn’t that bad. Past the first 5 inches it’s all brand new.’

Topic: The Lounge / Where to live in the Wollongong area

Didn”t you have a mirror when you lived in the Illawarra Socks!!!!!

Hahahahaha
Hey Dogs , remember that time you got a nosebleed and someone handed you a tampon?

Topic: The Lounge / Where to live in the Wollongong area

Hi truesalt
I lived in the illawarra for 27 years from Fairymeadow in the north to Albion park rail in the South.

Albion Park is your best bet if you want a new value for money house with minimal bogans.

Avoid Dapto Port kembla Unnanderra cringilla warrilla and berkely.

That said i would buy an older Termite protected house in the northern suburbs if it was me.

On the subject of bogans i never saw a real one till i moved to western Sydney.

You will love the illawarra.

Good luck

Topic: Rules of Golf / Is it against the rules to paint your clubhead?

True
im thinking about having my driver head airbrushed now.
Either bright yellow with taxi checkers or gloss black with burning dice.
Maybe some cool tatoo like designs, i sense a market here.

Topic: Rules of Golf / Is it against the rules to paint your clubhead?

Good question, If its legal you would think there would be more of it considering the pride some guys take in their gear.

Topic: iseekgolf Golf Days / Black Tee Day - Newcastle GC

Chris, Dog will tell you we have no shame.

Topic: Golf Talk / Outnumbered 3 to 1!

Nice work Styles

Great name too

Topic: Golf Talk / Club Near Penrith NSW with Sunday Am Comp

see you when you get out of hospital bud

Topic: iseekgolf Golf Days / Black Tee Day - Newcastle GC

I’m in for the 27th of June…….. if we get desperate we could even ask socks……...... but he’s probably pussy whipped!!!!!!!

I would play but i have a date with your missus that day : )

Topic: Golf Talk / Club Near Penrith NSW with Sunday Am Comp

Well did you want a beer or not?
didnt see you complaining at the time alco

Topic: Golf Talk / Club Near Penrith NSW with Sunday Am Comp

Its my fault im dragging you both down.
im always so nervous standing over the ball, thinking about 30 things and worrying about getting hit by one of Graemes clubs after yet another Tanty ;)

Topic: Golf Talk / Club Near Penrith NSW with Sunday Am Comp

Hey, hey, hey….whats all this talk of drives in the trees & flyin’ scotties??........ I was only in the trees makin sure I didnt get sunburnt, lookin for socks’s game and dodging Mr C’s duckhooks!!!!

Other extracts from Graemes book of golf excuses include.
the sun is too high in the sky.
the greens need mowed.
i’m used to playing on better grass than this.
I think the tees are further back today than they were yesterday
The greenskeeper did a poor job cutting that one.
The ball was in a divot.
I need new grips.
It was in between clubs.

and on and on

Topic: Golf Talk / Club Near Penrith NSW with Sunday Am Comp

hahaha yeah i was just telling him on sat how he was hitting the woods well

Topic: Golf Talk / Club Near Penrith NSW with Sunday Am Comp

Your spoilt for choice
Penrith is a good course but very long.Prices are good and it has great practice facilities and one of the best club houses in the area.

Richmond is the nicest course IMO but will sting your for $25
Company is usually good, I’ve met some fantastic people there.
But watch out for a chap called Graeme and his airborne scotty cameron.

Windsor is an interesting course in good condition plus they have the added bonus of running an A B and C grade comp on Sundays.
Prices are good and locals are friendly.

Fox Hill is fun and has a great club house great practice facilities great food all at reasonable prices and of course they have Mr C, what more could you ask for : )

Topic: Golf Equipment / Rust inside my shaft.

eucalyptus oil will get the goo off easier than just about anything else.

Topic: Golf Talk / How much would you spend...

Yeah i reckon i spend $50 every time i play comp inc beer. adds up to about $1000 a year add membership at $900 a year.plus away games and equipment and its around $4-5 G a year
If i dont get remarried and live quite long that could add up to over 150 Grand over the rest of my life.

If i get married and god willing die of a quick heart attack in my 50’s then i stand to save big bucks.

Topic: The Lounge / Golf panties

Thanks buddy , with the bad weather comes spare time

Topic: The Lounge / Golf panties

While we’re on the subject of panties…..........

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago.

Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.

Finally, Anna said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone..

Her daughter immediately replied, ‘Mom I have someone for you to meet.’

Well, it was an immediate hit.

They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont ..

Their first night there, she undressed as he did

There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his
birthday suit.

Looking her over, he asked, ‘Why the black panties?’

She replied: ‘My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but
down there I am still mourning.’

He knew he was not getting lucky that night.

The following night was the same—she stood there wearing
the black panties,

and he was in his birthday suit—but now he was wearing a black condom

She looked at him and asked: ‘What’s with the black condom?’

He replied,

I want to offer my deepest condolences’

Topic: The Lounge / tasteless

Love it , nice one Styles

Topic: The Lounge / Moving to Tasmania

Not marrying your cousin is frowned upon. Also stock up on flannos and try not to stare at people with tails.