Topic: Golf Talk / How's this for pressure

Choke!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could only dream of a score like that. Well done, a great result on a tough course.
So did you still get the phone interview?

Topic: The Lounge / Computer Diognosis

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

’’Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.” Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.”

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

“Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.”

Topic: The Lounge / Think I should get one?

Racinfarmer was in another town and went to the local golf course where he teamed up with 3 locals for a game. On the 5th hole one of the other players looks across at Racin’s golf bag and sees a sniper rifle in there. He asks Racin “what is the sniper rifle for”, Racin replies “ I am a professional hit man”. Impressed by this another guy asks “how much for a hit”, Racin casually replies $1000. The guy says “well that’s not a bad price would you mind hitting my cheating wife and her lover, when we get to the 7th hole you should be able to see in my house and maybe get a clean shot”.
Racin says “yeah I will have a look”.
They get to the 7th and Racin pulls out the gun and attaches the scope, he steadies himself and says to the guy wanting the hit “hey they are both in the bedroom”. One minute later Racin still has not taken the shot but is patiently looking thru the scope.
The husband says “hey are you gonna take them out or not?” Racin replies “shhhh I am trying to save you a $1000 dollars here”.

Topic: Golf Equipment / Vision Golf Ball Test

Hey WF,

Glad you made the effort, at least the deal helps to pay
the travel costs. Could be a tough winter weather wise.

Did you go UV or the others?

The harder I practice the luckier I get. Gary Player.

I have bright balls, what about you?

I went the others, with the small numbers and my boss paid for the fuel :), mind you I gave him a ball and showed him the little white bag and then had to tell him where and how much it was.
Please send my commission check to….......

Topic: Golf Equipment / Vision Golf Ball Test

Finally got to A Mart at Glendale and got the 12 ball deal.
Thanks Boz.
Played on Saturday but can’t really comment on the balls, was a very strong southerly blowing and the course is near the beach add to that the rain .

Topic: Golf Talk / What is your swing speed?

Second sign is answering :)

Topic: Golf Talk / GolfLink and GolfLink Mates

Maybe a rote email to anyone that disagrees with what they are doing.

I really don’t feel there is anything to discuss. Golf Link has made its
decision to charge us to see how we went compared to the rest of the field, as that would be the only area that I would look at and to charge me 60 cents a week to do that is ridiculous. I have made my decision not to open the Golf Link page.

Topic: Golf Talk / GolfLink and GolfLink Mates

I got a reply from Golf Link to my email.

Dear Robert

Thankyou for your feedback, it is greatly appreciated and will help to
shape the future of Golf Link Mates. We were hoping that you would be
willing to discuss your views on Golf Link Mates over the phone with us.
If you would provide us with a contact phone number and an appropriate
time to call you I will have someone get in contact with you so that you
can give us some accurate feedback.

Regards,
Chris

Topic: Golf Talk / GolfLink and GolfLink Mates

I logged on to Golf Link this morning to see how I went compared to the rest of the field in Saturday comp.
The only way I can do that now is to take up the offer of their 45 day free trial and then pay their fee to continue seeing the overall results.
I am already paying Golf Link in my annual club membership, I wont give them any more money.

I sent them an email via their feedback saying I wont pay twice.
Perhaps we all should be doing that and just maybe they might get the message.

Topic: Rules of Golf / Par Game

Yeah sorry it is Australia.
At the club I play at we also pick up when we run out of strokes. We do not mark our card for gross score.

Topic: Rules of Golf / Par Game

Usually drink Glenfiddich but Glenlivet was on special, can now buy another ball to hit OB.

Topic: Your Favourite Golf Courses / Top three reasons for supporting your home course??

Hawks Nest Golf Club. NSW

Pros.
1. Under $550 a year.
2. On sand, always playable after heavy rain.
3. Reasonably open front 9 and much tighter back 9

Cons.
1. Too many trees causing problems with some greens getting too much shade.
2. Bloody plovers.
3. Players not having the courtesy to repair divots and plug marks.

Topic: iseekgolf Golf Days / Black Tee Newcastle GC Fri 29/2/08

Would love to go and play Newcastle, but having real problems slicing and hooking off the tee :( and from what I know of NGC I would hate myself.

Topic: The Lounge / Who backs the car into the garage?

Car in garage?
I keep $5,000.00 worth of junk in the garage and park the $25,000.00 car outside.

Topic: Golf Equipment / Ebay rip off Boz Balls

TheBoz
plus NSW-Glendale

Fantastic, I will be there next week.

Topic: Golf Equipment / Bridgestone x Star Wars - May The Force Be With You

Thanks for the laugh all. :)

Topic: Golf Talk / Carry Bags

Have a look at this topic.

http://forums.iseekgolf.com...

Topic: Rules of Golf / Par Game

We had a par game today and as usual I had a shocker.
I am curious to know how you can be handicapped playing a par event.
One of the members in our group had 4 birdies and these just go as a +.
I can’t see how a player can have his handicap correctly adjusted in a par game.
Am I thinking wrong on this? If I am can I blame the 15 year old scotch I am drinking.

Topic: Ask Golf Guru - Golf Instruction / What do you do?

I would never let good sex interfere with a bad day on the golf course.

Topic: iseekgolf Golf Days / Any iSeekers in Newcastle?

Another Newcastle player signing in. Live in Medowie and a member of Hawks Nest. Very unlikely to get on a course during the week and Sat is comp. If there is ever a Sunday game going I will do my best to get along so you can all laugh at my uncanny ability to slice most clubs when the mood suits.

Topic: Rules of Golf / Club Recall - Springboard Faces

http://www.usga.org/equipme...

It’s the club pictured on the right hand side and it has the arrow alignment mark on the crown.

Topic: Rules of Golf / Club Recall - Springboard Faces

I purchased a Srixon driver about 18 months ago, at that time I was unaware of conforming and non conforming clubs. Unfortunately my driver will be illegal from 1st Jan and I will not use it from that date.
I sent a polite email to Srixon Australia 3 weeks ago asking about their business ethics in selling clubs that would be illegal for competition use.
As yet I have not received a reply and am now presuming that I wont get a reply from them.
I wonder how many others like myself have been caught out buying clubs that would be illegal?