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Gluten - Now I Know What Its For


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#1 GPJ_Longdriver

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 10:27 AM

This morning on my way to gainful employment, I stopped for my pre-dawn repast of a coffee at my regular coffee emporium, and also purchased a muffin (which I planned to inhale during my mid morning break a few hours later.)

When I asked for said muffin however, I was told that this morning, they only had gluten free muffins.

 

"Okay, I’ll still have it" I responded, not knowing of course the impact that a lack of gluten was going to create later on.

 

The muffin looked just the same, packaged as it was in it's neat, clear plastic container, so I wasn’t expecting much difference in taste.

Anyway, I finished my coffee before starting work for the day, and then as my mid morning break approached a short time ago, I did the usual 20 seconds in the microwave with the muffin to warm it through.

Post a soothing dart, I returned to enjoy what looked like a very nice muffin …… until I took it out of its container.

It took one look at the fresh air and the lack of constraints now around it, and simply fell into a hundred pieces right there in front of me on my desk.

This is obviously why the 12 yr old serving me this morning, looked at me sideways, knowing what was to occur.

Thus, it would appear based on my scientific observations, that in fact, gluten is the thing that holds stuff together ….. and without it, we like our muffins, are all doomed for a quick demise as we will simply fall apart.

It then begs the question ….. if we need gluten to keep us together, why are so many people pushing this gluten free approach?

 

Do they want us to fall apart, and if so, what else do they plan on taking gluten out of? Are we to pull up at the checkout counters of the future with just bags of crumbs?

I for one, have rapidly grown to love gluten (as of about half an hour ago), and I think everyone should rally against this “anti gluten” crusade.

 

One of the joys in life, is biting into a nice muffin ……. And not having to hoover it up in order to eat it. :(


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#2 GhettoGolfer

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 11:11 AM

Based on the length of this post and others Gaz, the bigger question would be what you would consider gainful employment?

Just to stay on topic, if a muffin falls apart like that, is it in fact, still a muffin?
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#3 GPJ_Longdriver

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 11:20 AM

Based on the length of this post and others Gaz, the bigger question would be what you would consider gainful employment?

Just to stay on topic, if a muffin falls apart like that, is it in fact, still a muffin?

 

I consider gainful employment is where they pay me to either a) rise from my slumber, or b.... keep me off a golf course during daylight hours.

 

As for your second query, I agree, a pile of crumbs does not, a muffin make, and I shall be alerting the 12yr old who sold me that on Monday morning, to that fact. :)


Edited by GPJ_Longdriver, 19 May 2017 - 11:20 AM.

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#4 GhettoGolfer

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 11:29 AM

I consider gainful employment is where they pay me to either a) rise from my slumber, or b.... keep me off a golf course during daylight hours.

 

As for your second query, I agree, a pile of crumbs does not, a muffin make, and I shall be alerting the 12yr old who sold me that on Monday morning, to that fact. :)

ha ha - sounds like I am painfully employed it seems going by your definition. 

 

Gluten free eh? Wifey recently came home with some "cup-a-soups" sporting the "99% fat free" labels (and in all honesty, how much fat can really be in powdered soup where 95% of the prepared product is made up of water?) and I have, as a consequence, vetoed it's consumption in my household and forbade all things "fat-free", "sugar-free", "low in salt" so on and so forth. 


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#5 Tolmij

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 12:47 PM

We make our own bread, gluten is the stuff that makes the loaf useable and tasty.

A few people are gluten intolerant, most of us are not.

Tried gluten free flour once threw it away after the first attempt at bread.
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#6 OldBogey

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 01:00 PM

A recent study showed that going 'salt free' was quite dangerous to one's well being.

We need salt to keep everything ticking over.

 

Like everything, an excess of salt, or muffins, or anything else is also not good for us.



#7 The good Egg

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 01:22 PM

Well....you shoulda licked it out....of the wrapper 😉

#8 Li Ning

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 05:21 PM

Gluten; an English word combing 'glue' and 'often' to help keep muffins and other bread products from crumbling apart upon removal of outside wrapper
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#9 Weetbix

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 05:24 PM

Did you find Gaz that in addition to holding the muffin together it turns out gluten is useful in providing a pleasant texture and a bit of flavour?
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#10 iRON MiCK

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 05:34 PM

Microwave a glutenfree anything at your own peril.

Whatever you do, you do to yourself

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#11 Toph

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:08 PM

Have you seen the Grill'd gluten free burgers? Basically a normal burger with the bun replaced by two circles cut out of a soggy pizza carton.
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#12 Li Ning

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 03:26 PM

Do theses circles stay Together
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#13 Toph

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 10:39 PM

Do theses circles stay Together

Don't know. Never tried it. Just seen one.
Look like they would frizby 50 meters.

Edited by Toph, 22 May 2017 - 10:39 PM.

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#14 *Mouldy

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 11:18 PM

Muffins are normally tasteless and boring. The only interesting bits being on the top or the bottom. The 3-4cm between is of no interest whatsoever. Gluten free couldn't possibly be any worse.

Might I suggest opting for the ageless Vanilla Slice or a Coffee Scroll with real butter.

Not all current culinary trends are worth following.

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#15 ink

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Posted 23 May 2017 - 06:02 AM

gluteus tenuous




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