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The Mysterious El Barto


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#91 El Barto

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Posted 23 December 2016 - 10:29 AM

I payed something like that in AUD to play Hamilton Island

Worth it as a course? Nah

Worth it as an experience? For sure

Yeah, I'm not sorry I played. It was real "I'll only do this once" stuff so I bit my lip and paid it over.

 

When I got back to work from that trip I wore the polo shirt I purchased at the Empire and asked everyone there to guess how much it cost.

 

None came close to the real figure an astonishing $90.00. It was an expensive day  


See all that stuff inside Homer? That's why your robot wouldn't work.


#92 Weetbix

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Posted 23 December 2016 - 12:52 PM

I settled for the hat!
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Handicap

Best result: 2 over 74 at Hills International on 13 Feb 2016

Eagles: 21/10/16 17th Keysborough, 24/10/16 18th Woodlands

Goal: A round at par or better!

Brisbane Fairways 2015 Club Champion

Brisbane Fairways 2015 Clubman of the Year

Winner: 2015 Nationals day 5 round at Links Hope Island

Winner: 2016 Nationals day 5 round at Woodlands

South East Queensland Golf Group - Treasurer

http://www.brisbanef...ssocialgolf.com - Treasurer


#93 El Barto

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Posted 27 December 2016 - 06:05 PM

Played Sunshine today in fairly benign conditions It drizzled on us almost all day yet the weather never progressed to showers let alone rain it just spat non stop and never got heavier. That may not sound ideal but the last time I played there it was 35 degrees with a howling northerly and today was much preferable.

 

I shot 96, 45 and 51.  Two pars, six bogeys and a triple on the front nine. I had never parred the opening hole until today so I was very happy with that

 

The back nine no pars, five bogeys two doubles and two triples. I had 41 putts. 41! With five 3 putts and a four putt!

 

I've parred every hole on the course at least once now except three of them

 

Par 5 4th

Par 5 13th

Par 4 14th

 

I normally frown on mulligans but I awarded myself one today on the 18th hole. We'd had a slow but pleasant trip around the course and we were just finishing up.

 

I was teeing off, I went into my backswing and just as I was about to make contact some turd behind me screamed out "Fore!" My body jerked and the ball went straight into the water. The idiot was in a cart driving from the 10th green to the 11th tee. He had no legitimate reason to yell anything and I really cracked it. He was aged in his 20's and was desperately trying to impress some unfortunate girl that was riding in his cart.


Edited by El Barto, 27 December 2016 - 06:06 PM.

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See all that stuff inside Homer? That's why your robot wouldn't work.


#94 Mr Peanut

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Posted 27 December 2016 - 07:55 PM

   Great quote from MCG re how hard the rain was today.    They went off and stayed off.

 

 

Scanning a vacant MCG over pre-lunch drinks, the wife of a Melbourne Cricket Club veteran said: "I wouldn't have taken my washing in today."


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Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. 


#95 El Barto

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 07:59 AM

Did a quick tour of the Northern Territory

I played Alice Springs, to be honest it was a bit beyond my capabilities as a golfer. I shot 98, that's not including the dozen or more balls I lost  On this occasion I decided to not issue penalties to myself.

 

The fairways were excellent but if you missed them it would scoot off into this knee high scrub and you'd never find it. All you'd see was a puff of red dust and the ball was gone. The course would be brutal in summer but if I were ever back in the neighbourhood I would certainly play it again.

 

Cost me $78.00 including cart and clubs on a sunny Monday afternoon . The course was near empty the only players I saw were off in the distance

 

This photo shows what the course looks like when you have a club in your hand, the knee high scrub I mentioned is clearly visible

 

I took a photo of each shot and loaded it onto youtube

 

https://www.youtube....h?v=ipStwzE45Cc

 

 

Attached Files


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See all that stuff inside Homer? That's why your robot wouldn't work.


#96 El Barto

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 08:31 AM

I also played Darwin the main course there cost $100 inc cart and clubs

 

It was very dry which could be expected in July. The sprinklers seemed to be going non stop.

I enjoyed it but had what seemed quite an eccentric layout with houses on both sides of the fairway. It was also crisscrossed by roads, fairly substantial ones. I almost got collected by a whopping big Toll truck going from one hole to another. It was not the course for someone who doesn't fancy their chances of keeping the ball on the course. One tee box was about 15m from a bloke's pool. 

I shot 102, 51 and 51. A couple of bad holes cost me a decent score

 

https://www.youtube....h?v=TLcHWNCQeYc

 

A typical fairway with houses on both sides. I teed off from down past those sprinklers 

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Edited by El Barto, 02 August 2017 - 08:32 AM.

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See all that stuff inside Homer? That's why your robot wouldn't work.


#97 El Barto

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 08:43 AM

I also played Garden Links in Darwin

A little nine holer opposite the casino.

Very dry, cost about $40 with cart and clubs, 

 

Incredibly crowded, waited every shot on every hole. Given the small land they had to work with I think it's an excellent course although each hole seemed to be about 220m long. I shot 44 with no pars I think it was par 34

 

I also made a youtube clip for this but it is banned in 172 countries and has had zero views. Someone objected to the music in it and that is that

 

This is one of the longer holes looking back from the green . You tee off from that clearing in the rise

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See all that stuff inside Homer? That's why your robot wouldn't work.


#98 El Barto

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 09:13 AM

Lastly I played Cairns

It was about $80 all up.

 

Fairly straightforward course. On the back nine I lost my temper like I never had before and I basically abandoned scoring

 

I shot 45 for the first nine. No lost balls, no penalties of any kind. I thought, "I will never have a better chance to break 90" I got to the tenth tee and some clown in a red shirt was standing in front of the tee box adjusting the umbrella on his buggy... for about ten minutes. He must have started his round there as I hadn't seen him previously.

 

When the umbrella was to his satisfaction he walked off down the fairway, past the green and away. I could still see him, he had either abandoned the hole or he thought he had hit the ball some 400 metres After a few more minutes I decided he wasn't coming back so I teed off. I was about 30 metres from the hole about to play my third shot when a bloke drove up, parked his truck between me and the hole and began measuring things. He was walking one of those wheels around and around the green. 

 

I know ground staff have right of way so I waited and waited while he walked around and around. After a good five minutes I picked up not in the best of moods thinking I would come back later. I was about to putt on the par 3 11th when the bloke in the red shirt reappeared and began pinging balls at me. I screamed at him to F off.

 

Everywhere I went from then on Red Shirt was there, umbrella raised, slowly walking the wrong way down whatever fairway I happened to be on. After that happened a couple of times I couldn't wait to get off the course

 

In the end it was just as well as my dreams of breaking 90 would have been cruelly shattered. I played the 18th dead serious and had already scored nine before I decided the ball was close enough to the hole and my round was over.  

 

This is my round the first nine only

https://www.youtube....PUSDAJIRU&t=36s

 

Par 3 Cairns. As you can see it's quite picturesque

 

 

 

 

 

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See all that stuff inside Homer? That's why your robot wouldn't work.


#99 Weetbix

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Posted 02 August 2017 - 11:25 AM

There's some weird people out there!

Handicap

Best result: 2 over 74 at Hills International on 13 Feb 2016

Eagles: 21/10/16 17th Keysborough, 24/10/16 18th Woodlands

Goal: A round at par or better!

Brisbane Fairways 2015 Club Champion

Brisbane Fairways 2015 Clubman of the Year

Winner: 2015 Nationals day 5 round at Links Hope Island

Winner: 2016 Nationals day 5 round at Woodlands

South East Queensland Golf Group - Treasurer

http://www.brisbanef...ssocialgolf.com - Treasurer


#100 El Barto

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Posted 07 September 2017 - 10:27 AM

Played Sunshine on Sunday. It was quite windy

Started on the tenth and lost two balls into the drink with my first two shots.

I decided against keeping score before I finished the first hole.

 

How windy was it? About 80 or so metres from the second hole I announced to my playing partner Mr Peanut that I would be playing a sand wedge and he basically said I was crazy that I would never reach the green. I of course said "Oh yeah? Watch this" and gave it an almighty whack dead straight, right into the teeth of the gale. I could not have hit it harder or better. While it was in the air I gave Mr Peanut a smug "Told you so" look.  It bounced and started coming back at us down the hill at quite a clip bouncing and zigzagging. It was like the ball had come to life and was coming to get me. It stopped about ten feet from where we were standing.

 

I had one success, there were three holes on the course I had never parred before and I managed to knock one of them off

 

The thirteenth had long been my least favourite hole but just as I stood on the tee the weather went from "unpleasant" to "apocalyptic" it abruptly started pouring rain and the wind increased threefold but amazingly it was blowing in the right direction so I heaved it into the sky and it landed in the fairway. I got it on the green in four and with the rain still pouring I sunk a ten foot putt for a par. I was more than a little chuffed as that hole and I have some history.

 

That leaves just the 4th and the 14th for me to knock off. It also means I am under the card for the course!

That is I've birdied more holes than I have failed to par so if I equalled my best ever score for each hole in the same round I would be one under for the day! Only at Sunshine and Westgate do I have that distinction


See all that stuff inside Homer? That's why your robot wouldn't work.





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