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The Mysterious El Barto


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#16 El Barto

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Posted 26 December 2015 - 11:53 PM

I'm sure westgate will give you a handicap for $120 and 3 rounds, Royal park defiantly will.

Yeah when I do want  handicap I'll just put my name down at Westgate for the comp. I joined it a few years back


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#17 Big Bopper

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Posted 27 December 2015 - 12:11 AM

Well (as a slightly old fart) I have bad gas all the time. with bad eye sight added on top. I've lost more balls in the last few seasons than I have in my whole 38 years of golfing. And most felt solid and were very good swings into the ball. It's almost like the ball just disappeared :(

#18 El Barto

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Posted 27 December 2015 - 12:13 AM

It's amazing how many ailments golfers (particularly old farts) have and yet still play golf.  Poor eyesight is quite common.  Just tell them before you start that you have trouble seeing barns, let alone golf balls, and most will readily assist you.

 

You'll probably make some new friends, too.

Most people are pretty good I know I've helped people find their balls even if they're not in my group and I've had others do the same for me. "It's in that bush"


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#19 blindman

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Posted 27 December 2015 - 11:26 AM

That's just bullshit. To get a handicap, you play stroke.
But using a basis of 36 handicap for calculation, it means you pick up if 4 over par and a stroke handicap can be calculated. You didn't really have 53 points because you didn't really have a handicap.

Haha. Was all it was meant to be. :D
I handed cards in but he wanted it scored off 36 stableford.
Had no intention of playing in comp for real gain.

Edited by blindman, 27 December 2015 - 11:36 AM.

£1000 on Spieth to win all 4 majors this year.
Had to get it in UK, none in Oz.

Millionaire or a grand down ?

Place your bets !

#20 El Barto

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Posted 27 December 2015 - 05:58 PM

I am a firm believer that the true first rule of golf is "get your excuses in early" If you have a new putter, or have health niggles like a sore back you should let your playing partner know immediately that way if you play badly you've already laid the ground work to make your excuses not sound like excuses.

 

That said, I played at Sunshine this arvo. When I left home this morning it was cold and raining so I put on my usual winter golf jacket. Big mistake, it was nowhere near cold enough for that and made me sweat buckets but I froze when I took it off. I think that's why I played so badly...

 

We started on the back nine, I had a six pack of second hand yellow XXIO balls I'd picked up in Thailand for next to nix. Very first swing I plonked one in the drink, threw down another one, plonked it in the drink. Onto the second hole (the 10th) In my opinion the easiest hole on the course, a drivable par 4 I threw down another XXIO ball and plonked it in the drink. I've played there a dozen times or more and  I never even knew there was water on that hole!

 

After three holes I'd scored 8.8.8 all on holes I'd either parred or birdied in the past so I wasn't feeling too flash. (bloody jacket!) Onto my fourth (the 13th), one of the interminable par 5's on the course that had always given me trouble. I'd never gotten within cooee of parring any of them in the past. Nice tee shot, then with the wind up my arse I clobbered the second shot and it went miles and bounced high and handsome straight into the thick marsh that divides the hole never to be seen again. I tossed down the fifth of six XXIO balls and my playing partner said, "Give me a look at that ball" so I handed it to him and he  said, "I just wanted to see one before it was too late"

 

I gave up counting the score at that point My playing improved immediately so I decided to start keep score again on the back nine. I shot 51 with no pars but I was very consistent. Incredibly the fifth XXIO ball lasted til the end of the round. 

 

I had only one truly bad hole. I got a seven on a par 4. After a bad tee shot I was in the rough and if you've ever played at Sunshine you'd know parts of it looks like a haunted forest from Scooby Doo, full of blackened trees and shadows. I successfully smacked it around one of the ghost trees but I hit another one flush and it rebounded thirty or forty metres behind me To be truthful I was lucky to get away with a seven for that hole.

 

So I still haven't broken 100 there but at least I gave a couple of those par 5's a shake. I got two bogeys on them. One putt lipped out and the other missed by two inches. You have to take your victories where you can get 'em.


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#21 El Barto

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Posted 29 December 2015 - 08:40 AM

Get your excuses in early, that’s what I always say. I forgot to mention that on the first tee I discovered my dog had chewed my new glove to bits. I grabbed my old glove and remembered he’d been at that one too and that’s why I’d purchased a new glove in the first place.  So I had this tattered, glove shaped rag on my hand and tried to play golf. No wonder I struggled to keep my XXIO balls on the track.

 

Here’s a word about my home course. Although it’s generally derided I’ve always liked Westgate. I think it’s an excellent learning course.  Even its bad points teach you how to play the game. The grass is thick and lush in winter but basically disappears in summer. Right now in late December it’s already getting a moonscape look about it and will only get worse as the season continues. Playing a course that differs that much over the course of the year can’t but help you adjust to different lies. Nothing fazes me whether it’s ankle deep grass in the rough or bare earth or anything in between.

 

Also some of the fairways are very narrow and that teaches you to hit the ball where you need to rather than just going smack. The first time I stood on a tee on a different course I could not believe how wide the fairway was. It was literally the width of three Westgate fairways, I couldn’t see how you could miss and I didn’t. Given the limited land available I think the designers did a very good job. Some of the holes are bland but others are excellent and difficult no matter how many times you play them.

 

I’ve honed my game to suit my home track, like the course itself my swing is really short and abrupt. There’s no point hitting the ball miles as you just run out of room.

 

I mentioned elsewhere I was shocked to see my swing on camera, it feels smooth to me so I thought it was fluid and graceful, like watching Michael Holding bowl but it’s just the opposite. It’s jerky and unnatural, like watching a robot dance. I think that comes from punching the ball everywhere which is what you need to do at Westgate.

 

I’m very fluky, not in the luck sense but like winds can be fluky. One minute they are there, the next they aren’t. I played Royal Hua Hin in Thailand in November and for the first twelve holes I played as badly as I ever have. Seriously if my first venture onto a course (this time around) was that bad there would not have been a second trip. I was slicing everything and I had never sliced a ball in my life. I don’t know why and I also don’t know why on the last six holes I hit everything gun barrel straight and parred every hole (or close to it) It may have been as plain a reason as an adjustment to the rental clubs but it was very frustrating.


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#22 El Barto

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Posted 31 December 2015 - 02:25 PM

In the spirit of the most memorable round thread I feel I should mention my most memorable hole of 2015. It was in June or July this year in what was a hit and giggle Saturday morning round with nothing at stake on a hole I had played many times.

 

Short Par 4, 6th hole at Westgate. I was teeing off and I whiffed, that is I had an airswing. I couldn't believe it as I hadn't done that in years. I stood staring at my ball still sitting on the tee. I then turned to my partner and said, "One"

 

I then teed off and placed it fairly close to the green and said, "Two" One chip and one putt later I had the hardest and most satisfying par I had ever achieved.

 

It was significant to me as it marked the moment I realised I was finally improving as a golfer after literally years of being beginner standard.


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#23 El Barto

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Posted 03 January 2016 - 05:04 AM

I had my first hit of 2016 and had a realisation that a lot of my bad shots are caused by sheer laziness. I was addressing the ball and it was about an inch further in front of me than it should have been, I should have adjusted my stance but I thought "ah stuff it" and swung anyway and pulled it straight into the trees on my left.

 

That one bad swing should be much more valuable than a good swing would have been since it was clear to me what was going to happen  before I even swung.

 

I also had a realisation about the value of threads such as this. By organising my thoughts into words I was able to piece together something that hadn't occurred to me previously

 

I said Westgate teaches you to punch the ball around and I also said the par 5's at Sunshine give me trouble. One leads directly to the other.

 

If you want to place the ball 100m away around a bush into a clearing I'm your man, however if you need someone to smack the ball 400m down the fairway it's going to take me more strokes than most and when I try to get there quicker I overswing with generally ugly results and one bad swing leads to another like flies to dogshit.

 

I'm also terrible in bunkers. Westgate doesn't have many and I know the course so well I can avoid them. Sunshine has many and once I get in one the score starts to mount to a cruel degree


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#24 Weetbix

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Posted 03 January 2016 - 05:33 AM

Lesson learned hey?

Handicap

Best result: 2 over 74 at Hills International on 13 Feb 2016

Eagles: 21/10/16 17th Keysborough, 24/10/16 18th Woodlands

Goal: A round at par or better!

Brisbane Fairways 2015 Club Champion

Brisbane Fairways 2015 Clubman of the Year

Winner: 2015 Nationals day 5 round at Links Hope Island

Winner: 2016 Nationals day 5 round at Woodlands

South East Queensland Golf Group - Treasurer

http://www.brisbanef...ssocialgolf.com - Treasurer


#25 El Barto

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Posted 10 January 2016 - 06:11 PM

Played Sunshine this afternoon in near perfect conditions. The course was almost empty and four of us went around in about four hours.

 

The highlight was on the very first hole. One of my partners has eyesight comparable to mine so I offered him a Chromax ball telling him they were impossible to lose and he thought it was too freaky looking so he declined. I teed off with it and someone said, "Look at that! It looks like spaceship coming in to land!"

 

My blind partner abruptly changed his mind and said, "Give me one of those" and I gave him one and stupidly said, "The only way you can lose it is if you put it in the water." He hooked it. I'd never seen anyone hit a ball remotely in that direction before. It went straight into a lake. He'd managed to find the only water on the entire front nine. He turned and glared at me like it was my fault, I said, "At least we saw it all the way."

 

I don't know what I shot but I still haven't broken 100 there. The scoring was stableford. I played pretty well until the par 4 eighth hole. Bad tee shot, bad second shot My third shot landed in a bunker, it took three shots to get it out of there and when I did it scooted across the green into the bunker opposite and that's when I picked up so my score off the stick for the round was infinity.

 

I got 30 points 19 and 11 with five wipes. My marker scored me as if I were off 18 which is way under what my real handicap would be.

 

I was actually pretty happy with how I played, I parred two holes I'd never parred before and didn't have a single arsey putt so all my individual hole scores were well and truly deserved.

 

I also played Westgate on Saturday The highlight was not golf related. I miscued the ball into the forest  between the 7th and 8th hole and while I was searching for it my dog picked something off the ground and wouldn't let it go. I eventually prised it from his jaws and when it hit the ground I saw it was a severed rats head I feel sick just typing those words.


Edited by El Barto, 10 January 2016 - 06:13 PM.

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#26 El Barto

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Posted 15 January 2016 - 07:42 AM

 Sometimes my wrists have so much unnecessary movement that my nickname for myself playing golf is "Twinkle Toes Flintstone" as I feel like Fred as he's preparing to bowl as in this clip....

 

https://youtu.be/g-IxeEHBFdU


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#27 El Barto

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Posted 24 January 2016 - 05:48 PM

I played Sunshine this arvo, the weather was very blustery and always seemed to be in your face. I'd seen it a lot worse there but I'd seen it a lot better too.

 

Started off very poorly, the first five holes I scored four sevens and a bogey five. Then I parred the sixth, the easiest ranked hole on the course and things started to click. I parred the 9th, 10th and 11th. I can't recall ever parring two holes in a row let alone three, then a couple of single bogeys and the inevitable crash. I scored an eight on the par 4 14th.

 

When I got to the par 4 18th I added my score and realised I was on 94 and a chance to break 100 there for the first time. The only problem was I'd never parred that hole. I stood on the teebox thinking, "Just get a five"

 

My drive was good enough but my second shot went screaming into the bunker. I had time to think "Oh no!" when It popped out and came to rest on the lip. I was feeling pretty chuffed with that until I went to play my third stroke and saw a ball in the bunker. I thought, "That looks like mine, What a coincidence" Then I realised it was mine. It must have rolled in while I was busy spruiking about how lucky I'd been.

 

The bunkers at Sunshine are very iffy and I had to get out and into the hole in just three strokes. I was going to chip out sideways but I decided to go for the flag. I bladed it just high enough to clear the lip and it went flying across the green to the other side of the hole.

 

The ball was snagged in quite long grass on the fringe but only about ten feet from the hole. I got my putter and poked it very hard at the hole trying to clear the grass. It never looked like missing and hit the flag with a clunk and dropped for a par. As the shot was downhill if I had missed I would have been looking at least at another two strokes to get it in the hole, instead it was in and I had broken 100 there for the first time there with a 98.

 

To say I was pleased is an understatement, especially considering how badly I started. I got 29 stableford points (13 and 16) marked as though I had a handicap of 18 which is way lower than what I would really have.

 

I don't recall missing a putt I thought I was going to make and sunk a couple I wouldn't have bet I'd sink so I'm not going to putt that well all the time.


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#28 Weetbix

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Posted 24 January 2016 - 06:47 PM

Well done! Love a good milestone score!


Handicap

Best result: 2 over 74 at Hills International on 13 Feb 2016

Eagles: 21/10/16 17th Keysborough, 24/10/16 18th Woodlands

Goal: A round at par or better!

Brisbane Fairways 2015 Club Champion

Brisbane Fairways 2015 Clubman of the Year

Winner: 2015 Nationals day 5 round at Links Hope Island

Winner: 2016 Nationals day 5 round at Woodlands

South East Queensland Golf Group - Treasurer

http://www.brisbanef...ssocialgolf.com - Treasurer


#29 El Barto

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Posted 24 January 2016 - 07:03 PM

Well done! Love a good milestone score!

Thanks I was genuinely chuffed.

 

My playing partner who knows I post in this thread said as we were walking off the course, "El Barto is going to be doing some spruiking tonight!"


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#30 Toph

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Posted 24 January 2016 - 07:58 PM

Fantastic. Next target?
I'm just pissed off OK? Don't ask.
READ EM AND WEEP
http://www.golflink....k_No=4072302355




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