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Frank's Golf Quips


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#1 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:11 AM

I got a 2015 Golf Quips calendar for Chrissy and enjoy reading them each day.   I thought I might post one each day for the amusement of anyone interested.   I'll post the first few days to catch up.


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#2 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:13 AM

"Go out and have fun.   Golf is a game for everyone, not just for the talented few."

 

Harvey Penick


Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#3 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:15 AM

"I know I'm getting better at golf......because I'm hitting fewer spectators."

 

Gerald Ford


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#4 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:17 AM

(One for Peppas)    ;)

 

"Always throw your clubs ahead of you.   That way you don't have to waste energy going back to pick them up."

 

Tommy Bolt


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#5 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:19 AM

"I think the greens are putting very, very good, obviously, because I've putted them well."

 

Phil Mickelson, after a second-round 67 that put him in the lead at Quail Hollow


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#6 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:21 AM

"We have almost no controversy.   Maybe I should get in a fistfight with Jack Nicklaus on the eighteenth green."

 

Tom Watson, on golf's modest TV ratings


Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#7 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:22 AM

"Don't take your bad shots home with you."

 

Tony Lema


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#8 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:23 AM

"A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it."

 

Davis Love Jr


Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#9 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:24 AM

"The ultimate judge of your swing is the flight of the ball."

 

Ben Hogan


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#10 Goldy

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:32 AM

Shouldn't this thread really be titled "Frank's Plagiarised Golf Quips"? ;)


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Winner Moonah Legends 2013 ISG Nationals | Winner The National 2013 ISG Nationals | Winner 4BBB 2013 ISG Nationals
Winner Stink's 3 Club Challenge 2015 | Winner C grade OOM The Sands 2016

Hole-in-one Growling Frog 14/1/17 5th hole 137m TM RBZ 5 hybrid / Srixon AD333 ball | Growling Frog GC Matchplay Champion 2017

Other, less impressive stuff...(I know...it's marginal...)
R/Up ISG Nationals 2013 | C Grade LD Growling Frog 8/2/14, 11th hole, TM R1, HOF Patriot shaft, testicles of steel | NTP 2nd hole Kooindah Waters 2014 ISG Nationals

3 Birdies in one round The Glades 2015 ISG Nationals | R/Up 4BBB 2015 ISG Nationals | NTP 16th hole Growling Frog OOM 2017 

C Grade LD Growling Frog 26/12/17, 15th hole, Callaway BB Alpha, HOF Patriot shaft, same old testicles of steel

Low Handicap point 12.7 9/4/16

Finally...and most importantly...
Smoldy....when only the best will do.
Goldlink


#11 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:34 AM

Shouldn't this thread really be titled "Frank's Plagiarised Golf Quips"? ;)

 

Whatever floats your boat.    :rolleyes:


Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#12 Goldy

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:39 AM

Whatever floats your boat.    :rolleyes:

 

I don't have a boat...you're confusing me with that rich pwick :D


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Winner Moonah Legends 2013 ISG Nationals | Winner The National 2013 ISG Nationals | Winner 4BBB 2013 ISG Nationals
Winner Stink's 3 Club Challenge 2015 | Winner C grade OOM The Sands 2016

Hole-in-one Growling Frog 14/1/17 5th hole 137m TM RBZ 5 hybrid / Srixon AD333 ball | Growling Frog GC Matchplay Champion 2017

Other, less impressive stuff...(I know...it's marginal...)
R/Up ISG Nationals 2013 | C Grade LD Growling Frog 8/2/14, 11th hole, TM R1, HOF Patriot shaft, testicles of steel | NTP 2nd hole Kooindah Waters 2014 ISG Nationals

3 Birdies in one round The Glades 2015 ISG Nationals | R/Up 4BBB 2015 ISG Nationals | NTP 16th hole Growling Frog OOM 2017 

C Grade LD Growling Frog 26/12/17, 15th hole, Callaway BB Alpha, HOF Patriot shaft, same old testicles of steel

Low Handicap point 12.7 9/4/16

Finally...and most importantly...
Smoldy....when only the best will do.
Goldlink


#13 Francie

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:42 AM

I don't have a boat...you're confusing me with that rich pwick :D

You're "rich" enough to buy 3 pairs of golf shoes.    B)


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#14 Goldy

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:43 AM

At $100 for 3 pairs...I'm tight.

Winner Moonah Legends 2013 ISG Nationals | Winner The National 2013 ISG Nationals | Winner 4BBB 2013 ISG Nationals
Winner Stink's 3 Club Challenge 2015 | Winner C grade OOM The Sands 2016

Hole-in-one Growling Frog 14/1/17 5th hole 137m TM RBZ 5 hybrid / Srixon AD333 ball | Growling Frog GC Matchplay Champion 2017

Other, less impressive stuff...(I know...it's marginal...)
R/Up ISG Nationals 2013 | C Grade LD Growling Frog 8/2/14, 11th hole, TM R1, HOF Patriot shaft, testicles of steel | NTP 2nd hole Kooindah Waters 2014 ISG Nationals

3 Birdies in one round The Glades 2015 ISG Nationals | R/Up 4BBB 2015 ISG Nationals | NTP 16th hole Growling Frog OOM 2017 

C Grade LD Growling Frog 26/12/17, 15th hole, Callaway BB Alpha, HOF Patriot shaft, same old testicles of steel

Low Handicap point 12.7 9/4/16

Finally...and most importantly...
Smoldy....when only the best will do.
Goldlink


#15 Bluethunda

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Posted 09 January 2015 - 09:48 AM

Allo allo allo, wuts goin on ere then??
  • Yarn likes this
DEBUT: US Masters, Augusta National Golf Club, Augusta, GA 2016
DEBUT: ANA Inspirational LPGA Mission Hills, Palm Springs, CA 2016
Reacquainted myself with Karrie Webb, Australia's Greatest Golfer




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