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#1891 Birdie Blitz

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Posted 21 September 2018 - 12:33 PM

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One leans over to the other "Boy it's getting hot in here". The second looks over at the first with a surprised look, and answers, "WHOA a talking muffin!"


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#1892 Francie

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Posted 22 September 2018 - 03:58 PM

JB was getting into bed and she said, "You're drunk".

 

He said, "How do you know?"

 

She said, "You live next door."


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​

Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

​Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#1893 pegasus2357

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Posted 22 September 2018 - 04:27 PM

JB was getting into bed and she said, "You're drunk".

He said, "How do you know?"

She said, "You live next door."

And that's where the trouble started
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VTTP 006

 

Miracle

 

 


#1894 Francie

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Posted 22 September 2018 - 05:08 PM

And that's where the trouble started

 

Funny.....I was going to put that.....but that's another thread.   :P  :D


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​

Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

​Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#1895 Birdie Blitz

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Posted 03 October 2018 - 09:52 AM

Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?

 

 

It reads "Small medium at large."


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#1896 Francie

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Posted 04 October 2018 - 04:28 AM

If at first you don't succeed,.........then skydiving is not for you.


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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​

Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

​Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#1897 Francie

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Posted 26 October 2018 - 05:42 PM

We're back....and it feels like I've been on holidays for weeks. Back to the grind on Sunday morning

Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​

Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

​Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#1898 iRON MiCK

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Posted 26 October 2018 - 06:59 PM

We're back....and it feels like I've been on holidays for weeks. Back to the grind on Sunday morning

Pisser

18.4 by the end of. 2018  - 4.7 to go

 

2018 Gardiners Run Senior Matchplay Champion

2018 Keysborough GC Gala Team Event Winner

2017 VIC ISG OOM "The Goldy" Winner

2017 VIC OOM #5 Gardiners Run Overall Winner

http://www.golf.org....icap/3010407931

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#1899 Weetbix

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Posted 26 October 2018 - 07:40 PM

That's not the best joke I've ever heard Frank

Handicap
Best result: 2 over 74 at Hills International on 13 Feb 2016
Eagles: 21/10/16 17th Keysborough, 24/10/16 18th Woodlands, 15/4/18 16th Carbrook
Goal: A round at par or better!
Brisbane Fairways 2015 Club Champion

2018 Nationals 4BBB Champion with Commish
Winner: 2015 Nationals day 5 round at Links Hope Island
Winner: 2016 Nationals day 5 round at Woodlands
Winner: 2017 Nationals day 5 round at Bonnie Doon

​Winner: 2018 Nationals day 2 round at Kooralbyn

​Winner: 2018 Nationals day 3 round at Sanctuary Cove Pines
South East Queensland Golf Group - Treasurer
http://www.brisbanef...ssocialgolf.com - Treasurer


#1900 Francie

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Posted 27 October 2018 - 09:25 AM

Woops...that was supposed to be in the TGIF thread.
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Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​

Eagle - Par 4 - 3rd at Long Reef GC (NSW) - 18/9/2018
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

​Best stroke score OTS - 77 - Gardiners Run GC - 11/11/2018

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#1901 Weetbix

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Posted 27 October 2018 - 10:07 AM

And now it's funny
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Handicap
Best result: 2 over 74 at Hills International on 13 Feb 2016
Eagles: 21/10/16 17th Keysborough, 24/10/16 18th Woodlands, 15/4/18 16th Carbrook
Goal: A round at par or better!
Brisbane Fairways 2015 Club Champion

2018 Nationals 4BBB Champion with Commish
Winner: 2015 Nationals day 5 round at Links Hope Island
Winner: 2016 Nationals day 5 round at Woodlands
Winner: 2017 Nationals day 5 round at Bonnie Doon

​Winner: 2018 Nationals day 2 round at Kooralbyn

​Winner: 2018 Nationals day 3 round at Sanctuary Cove Pines
South East Queensland Golf Group - Treasurer
http://www.brisbanef...ssocialgolf.com - Treasurer


#1902 ozdevil

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Posted 29 October 2018 - 09:26 AM

It had been snowing all night. So at ....

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman

8:17 My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead

8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts

8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white..

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended

8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role

8:43 The council equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction

8:45 TV news crew from the channel 9 news shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.

9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse.

Sadly this is becoming the truth 


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I AM ALWAYS FORCED TO DO SH1T I'M NOT QUALIFIED FOR. LIKE BEING NICE TO BLOODY ID1OTS :P :D

golflink # http://www.golflink....k_no=3040204492

#1903 ozdevil

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Posted 17 November 2018 - 08:33 PM

seriously this happened

 

i had a bit of time through the week in my travels and as  i am looking for a bit of lunch at the half way mark  which is around 500kms of driving , do i decided i felt like a bit of chinese so i rang ahead  to this country town  and  i phone the number up  and suddenly someone Answers  and greets me   saying I'M Wan King The Chef  how can i help you..   I said dont worry about it mate i leve you guys alone and just get fish and chips


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I AM ALWAYS FORCED TO DO SH1T I'M NOT QUALIFIED FOR. LIKE BEING NICE TO BLOODY ID1OTS :P :D

golflink # http://www.golflink....k_no=3040204492

#1904 Weetbix

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Posted 20 November 2018 - 06:42 AM

Jokes?


Handicap
Best result: 2 over 74 at Hills International on 13 Feb 2016
Eagles: 21/10/16 17th Keysborough, 24/10/16 18th Woodlands, 15/4/18 16th Carbrook
Goal: A round at par or better!
Brisbane Fairways 2015 Club Champion

2018 Nationals 4BBB Champion with Commish
Winner: 2015 Nationals day 5 round at Links Hope Island
Winner: 2016 Nationals day 5 round at Woodlands
Winner: 2017 Nationals day 5 round at Bonnie Doon

​Winner: 2018 Nationals day 2 round at Kooralbyn

​Winner: 2018 Nationals day 3 round at Sanctuary Cove Pines
South East Queensland Golf Group - Treasurer
http://www.brisbanef...ssocialgolf.com - Treasurer


#1905 The Robinator

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Posted 26 November 2018 - 07:35 PM

Anyone know any decent limericks?






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