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#1831 pegasus2357

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Posted 10 April 2018 - 08:45 AM

... The end of privacy coming soon??

 

 

CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza? 

 

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

 

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

 

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

 

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

 

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

 

GOOGLE:

According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered

an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms

and meatballs on a thick crust.

 

CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …

 

GOOGLE:

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula,

sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

 

CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.

 

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

 

CALLER: How the hell do you know?

 

GOOGLE:

Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. 

We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

 

CALLER:

Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take

medication for my cholesterol.

 

GOOGLE:

Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.

According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol

tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

 

CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

 

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

 

CALLER: I paid in cash.

 

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

 

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

 

GOOGLE:

That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an

undeclared income source, which is against the law.

 

CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?

 

GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

 

CALLER:

Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and

all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV,

where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

 

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago…

 


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VTTP 006

 

Miracle

 

 


#1832 ftg_lefty

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Posted 20 April 2018 - 01:27 AM

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

 

......asking for a friend  :)


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Some days It's just not worth chewing through the restraints!

#1833 Bluethunda

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Posted 20 April 2018 - 04:49 AM

Attached File  0EF07122-67C7-464B-B786-EA0CFFAD61C7.png   459.52KB   0 downloads



Just an idea for Iron Micks birthday boys
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#1834 OldBogey

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Posted 20 April 2018 - 11:12 AM

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Then you're 3/4 of the way there.



#1835 VLAD

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Posted 20 April 2018 - 12:27 PM

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

 

......asking for a friend  :)

 

Then you're 3/4 of the way there.

Actually NO

.5x.5 = .25 (1/4)


Country golfer on a City course.
Hacker in more ways than one.
Penetration specialist, can cause some people to be nervous.

 

I'm back for another few years
 
I can do no wrong.
 
 


#1836 OldBogey

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Posted 20 April 2018 - 01:33 PM

Actually NO

.5x.5 = .25 (1/4)

 

Yes, 1/4 left.

He's 3/4 of the way there.

As I said.



#1837 VLAD

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Posted 20 April 2018 - 03:37 PM

Yes, 1/4 left.

He's 3/4 of the way there.

As I said.

no allowance for his current life age?


Country golfer on a City course.
Hacker in more ways than one.
Penetration specialist, can cause some people to be nervous.

 

I'm back for another few years
 
I can do no wrong.
 
 


#1838 OldBogey

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Posted 20 April 2018 - 06:40 PM

no allowance for his current life age?

irrelevant

#1839 Bluethunda

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Posted 20 April 2018 - 07:14 PM

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BarNadsey
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