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#1771 RobNewy

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Posted 15 December 2017 - 08:18 PM

I farted in the elevator at my apartment complex this morning.

It was wrong on so many levels.

Never tell that "joke" again

Edited by RobNewy, 15 December 2017 - 08:18 PM.

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#1772 Cats are Farked

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Posted 15 December 2017 - 11:25 PM

Cats are farked.

#1773 RobNewy

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 05:22 AM

Cats are farked.


Bloody hell.
How bored were you!!
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#1774 Francie

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Posted 16 December 2017 - 06:46 AM

Bloody hell.
How bored were you!!

 

A bit of post building??


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#1775 Bully_BushRanger

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 06:59 PM

About 6 months ago, I went to see my doctor. She told me my blood pressure was a tad high, as well as my cholesterol.

She advised I should eat certain foods to help with the cholesterol and to maybe do some exercise. She said I should walk about 10km a day and to get back in touch with her after 6 months. I said, "No worries doc, I can do that."

So this morning, I ring her from Longreach and ask her what do I do now?
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#1776 iRON MiCK

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 07:40 PM

Nice one Dad :D
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#1777 Ji Bao He

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Posted 08 January 2018 - 07:48 PM

A great looking sort hails a cab in the middle of Kings Cross and gives the driver the address. He keeps glancing at her in the rear view mirror when she confesses she doesn't have any money to pay the fare, and could she maybe provide some other form of payment.

The cabbie starts thinking and says sure, how bout a bit of pleasure to which the woman mutually agrees.

Cabbie finds spot just off the road, parks,,climbs in the back and they start the transaction. After 5 mins, another cab travelling the same road spots the first cab pulled over, and wonders what is going on, he pulls up, hops out and walks up to the cab, knocks on window.. Driver one rolls down window and driver two asks what is going on, driver one tells him of the woman's plight, says she is a good sort and if it's ok with her, could driver two have some fun as well. She agrees so in hops driver two, driver one jumps out into the second cab , drives off and the fun begins.


Another 5 minutes passes when a police car happens along the cab on the side of the rode. They stop behind the cab, shine torchlight into back seat and growl, 'WhTs going on in here??' To which the canoe replies, 'I am making love to my wife Sir,'

Sorry the police officer replies, I didn't know it was your wife.


'That's ok',said the cabbie, neither did I until you shone the fcuking torch into the back window'!!!!!!!!

Edited by Ji Bao He, 08 January 2018 - 07:51 PM.

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#1778 Sprtan52

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Posted 09 January 2018 - 09:18 AM

What type of laptop sings??

 

 

A dell


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#1779 Sprtan52

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Posted 09 January 2018 - 09:24 AM

If you need to start a fire using just sticks, make sure they are the same length, width and weight.

 

That way you will have a match....


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#1780 Sprtan52

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Posted 09 January 2018 - 09:24 AM

Or, if they are unequal, you can toss away the heavier one...

 

 

and use the lighter...


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#1781 Sprtan52

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Posted 10 January 2018 - 08:02 AM

How do you kill a Circus?

 

 

 

 

Go for the juggler..


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#1782 Sprtan52

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Posted 10 January 2018 - 08:16 AM

A man hears a knock on the door. He opens the door, looks around, and doesn't see anyone. He looks down and sees a snail. He picks up the snail and throws it as hard as he can.

A couple years later he hears a knock on the door, opens it, and doesn't see anyone. He looks down and sees a snail.

The snail says, "What the **** did you do that for?"


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