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#1741 BumpunRun

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 07:06 AM

I've been reading a lot of literature lately about spiritual wellbeing and self awareness and the importance of learning something new each day.
Yesterday I learnt that eating 17 boiled eggs will make me vomit and gives me diarrhea.
Today I learnt I should not have eaten another 17 here at work this morning.
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"But sometimes there are more important things in life than being pedantic about the rules of golf, or spelling and grammar on golf forums"

#1742 Weetbix

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 07:51 AM

Great that you haven't wasted those two days

Handicap

Best result: 2 over 74 at Hills International on 13 Feb 2016

Eagles: 21/10/16 17th Keysborough, 24/10/16 18th Woodlands

Goal: A round at par or better!

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Winner: 2016 Nationals day 5 round at Woodlands

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#1743 VLAD

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 09:59 AM

I've been reading a lot of literature lately about spiritual wellbeing and self awareness and the importance of learning something new each day.
Yesterday I learnt that eating 17 boiled eggs will make me vomit and gives me diarrhea.
Today I learnt I should not have eaten another 17 here at work this morning.

Maybe try just 16 tomorrow


Country golfer on a City course.
Hacker in more ways than one.
Penetration specialist.
 

Bit busy with this democracy stuff right now, beautiful thing Democracy.


#1744 BumpunRun

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 10:55 AM

Maybe try just 16 tomorrow

I like your thinking 


"But sometimes there are more important things in life than being pedantic about the rules of golf, or spelling and grammar on golf forums"

#1745 VLAD

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 11:38 AM

its how we got the sputnik


Country golfer on a City course.
Hacker in more ways than one.
Penetration specialist.
 

Bit busy with this democracy stuff right now, beautiful thing Democracy.


#1746 Toph

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Posted 03 May 2017 - 04:55 PM

I've been reading a lot of literature lately about spiritual wellbeing and self awareness and the importance of learning something new each day.
Yesterday I learnt that eating 17 boiled eggs will make me vomit and gives me diarrhea.
Today I learnt I should not have eaten another 17 here at work this morning.

Maybe try Cadbury cream eggs?
Here to help.
I'm just pissed off OK? Don't ask.
READ EM AND WEEP
http://www.golflink....k_No=4072302355

#1747 ftg_lefty

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Posted 04 May 2017 - 06:23 PM

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

 

Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional,
illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream
media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to
pick up a turd by the clean end!


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Some days It's just not worth chewing through the restraints!

#1748 BumpunRun

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Posted 04 May 2017 - 06:27 PM

I had a senior colleague come and take the time to explain the meaning of prodigious to me this morning, it means a lot.
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"But sometimes there are more important things in life than being pedantic about the rules of golf, or spelling and grammar on golf forums"

#1749 RobNewy

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Posted 06 May 2017 - 06:09 PM

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees £10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.
He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, then trot across the road to a bus-stop.
The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench.
When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus.
The butcher follows, dumbstruck.
As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After a while he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" bell, and then the butcher follows him off.
The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step.
and barks repeatedly. No answer.
He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself (Whap!) against the door. He does this again and again.
No answer.
So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, barks repeatedly at a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door.
Eventually a small guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog.
The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!”
The owner responds,
.
"Genius, my arse! That's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!”
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#1750 seve_

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Posted 16 May 2017 - 02:42 PM

Very good Rob got me to Laoigh on a not do good day
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#1751 Rsc41

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Posted 16 May 2017 - 04:35 PM

Very good Rob got me to Laoigh on a not do good day

 

You ok mate? 


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#1752 RobNewy

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 08:58 PM

An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"
"The good news is... I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I can go ahead with the transplant." "Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again."
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.
"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.
"Just great," says the golfer. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors."
"That’s unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?"
"Well, just two, said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking, and every time I get an erection I also get a headache.
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#1753 RobNewy

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Posted 07 July 2017 - 08:51 PM



Three ladies are chipping up to the fourth hole at River Hill Golf Club, when a naked man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green.
The three ladies stand in awe at the size of his manhood.
The first lady says, 'He is definitely not my husband.’
The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, 'He is not mine either.’
After a very considered inspection, the third lady finally says,
'He's not even a member of this golf club’.
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#1754 Tolmij

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Posted 13 July 2017 - 10:41 AM

Biggest joke ever.

NSW origin team. :lol: :P
Intended to break 90 this year, not going well.

Concentrating just getting round the course

#1755 RobNewy

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Posted 17 September 2017 - 06:21 PM


Mick and Paddy have made a promise to their uncle. They had an Uncle
Seamus who was a seafaring gent all his life and a while before he passed
away, he made the boys promise to bury him at sea.

Of course he did pass away and the boys remembered to keep their promise.
So off they set with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded
onto their rowing boat. After a while Mick says, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff
out, Paddy?"

Without a word Paddy slips over the side only to be standing in water up to his
knees. "Dis'll never do Mick, let's row some more."

After a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again but the water is only
up to his belly, so on they row.

Again Mick asks Paddy, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out Paddy?"

Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says, "Nodis'll
ne va do." The water was only up to his chest.

So on they row and row and row when finally Paddy slips over the side and
disappears! Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting himself
into a state when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface gasping for breath.

"Well is it deep enuff yet, Paddy?"

"Aye it tis! Can yer hand me da shovel?"
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