Jump to content


 

Photo

...and that's when the trouble started!


  • Please log in to reply
1342 replies to this topic

#1321 Ji Bao He

Ji Bao He

    ISG AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL 4BBB CHAMPION, WITH HARRO

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 16503 posts
  • Location#KW #CHAMPION

Posted 18 November 2015 - 06:23 PM

I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business.
 
This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my ass and said, "You're kind of cute you gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yea you gotta pen?"
 
She said "Yea" I got a pen”.
 
So I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you".
 
...and that's when the trouble started!


  • BarnEsy05 and Tochakka like this
DEBUT: US Masters, Augusta National Golf Club, Augusta, GA 2016
DEBUT: ANA Inspirational LPGA Mission Hills, Palm Springs, CA 2016
Reacquainted myself with Karrie Webb, Australia's Greatest Golfer

#1322 BarnEsy05

BarnEsy05

    FLABBERGASTED

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 29884 posts
  • LocationIn Disbelief

Posted 12 July 2016 - 01:15 PM

The missus had her sister over for dinner one night when she asked me "How long have you been drinking beer?" 

 
"About 20 years, I suppose" I said.
  
"So", she starts, "a beer costs $5.00 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.00In one year, it would be approximately $5400.00 correct?"

"Correct" I said.
  
She continued "If in 1 year you spend $5400.00, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000.00 correct?" 
  
"Correct again" I said 
  
"Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?" she stated. 
  
So I asked her "Do you drink beer? 
  
"Well, no, I don't" she answered. 
  
"So where's you f***ing Ferrari then???" I finished
 
...and that's when the trouble started!

  • *Mouldy, Ji Bao He, Francie and 1 other like this

A

 

DON'T LET THE BLACK DOG WIN...

 

HELP IS OUT THERE

 
 
5 Time ISG NSW WBT Winner

2013 ISG NSW WBT COC Runner Up

2015 ISG NSW WBT COC

2nd ISG NSW Life Member Inductee

2012 Inaugural ISG National Supreme Putting Champion .

2013 ISG National Championships...13th place...now that's desperately unlucky

2013 ISG National Championships...3rd Place 2nd Round - Moonah Links
2014 ISG National Championships...13th place...no other golfer could be that desperately unlucky 2 years in a row!

2015 ISG National Championships...21st place...that's farked

2016 ISG National Championships...waaaaay down the list.

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Yarra Yarra Satellite Game 

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Huntingdale Satellite Game

2016 ISG National Championships...Captain of winning NSW Team, SOO.

2013 Inaugural Brass Yacht Winner

2014 Brass Yacht Winner

2015 Brass Yacht Runner-up

2016 Brass Yacht Winner

 

 

Life Motto: "If it's free, it's for me!"

 

 

 

 

Team Live4BarnEsy...forever undefeated angel-2-smiley-emoticon.gif

 
Desperately Unlucky ©


#1323 Rusty_Chopper_1984

Rusty_Chopper_1984

    The Next Big Thing

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 11085 posts

Posted 12 July 2016 - 01:21 PM


The missus had her sister over for dinner one night when she asked me "How long have you been drinking beer?"





"About 20 years, I suppose" I said.

"So", she starts, "a beer costs $5.00 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.00. In one year, it would be approximately $5400.00 correct?"




"Correct" I said.

She continued "If in 1 year you spend $5400.00, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000.00 correct?"

"Correct again" I said

"Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?" she stated.

So I asked her "Do you drink beer?

"Well, no, I don't" she answered.

"So where's you f***ing Ferrari then???" I finished


...and that's when the trouble started!


Gold!!!@
  • BarnEsy05 and Rusty_Chopper_1984 like this
http://www.golflink....k_No=5012901532

2014 C Grade Winner OOM 2 Growling Frog

47 pts 55/40 off 35 at Kooringal Golf Club after shooting 107 first time I played it.

2014 Eagle on 15th par 4 at Rosebud Country Club on North/East.

2015 Eagle 17th hole at Trentham Golf Course.

2015 C Grade Winner 00M 2 Settlers Run

2015 Race to 18 Winner

2015 BHIC shortest Drive winner 61m

2015 Overall C Grade Runner up

Coached by the Supercoach as of Dec 2014.

Roy McAvoy: Such a pure feeling is the well struck golf shot.

#1324 Francie

Francie

    Inaugural Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 33401 posts
  • LocationMelbourne

Posted 12 July 2016 - 01:41 PM

The missus had her sister over for dinner one night when she asked me "How long have you been drinking beer?"





"About 20 years, I suppose" I said.

"So", she starts, "a beer costs $5.00 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.00. In one year, it would be approximately $5400.00 correct?"





"Correct" I said.

She continued "If in 1 year you spend $5400.00, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000.00 correct?"

"Correct again" I said

"Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?" she stated.

So I asked her "Do you drink beer?

"Well, no, I don't" she answered.

"So where's you f***ing Ferrari then???" I finished

[font=verdana]...and that's when the trouble started![/font


Ahhh....I knew that was a joke when you said that you drink beer. :-))
  • BarnEsy05 and Ji Bao He like this

Inaugural winner "Castlemaine" Vic ISG golf day 2009
Inaugural Victorian OOM Putting Champion - Long Island 2011
Inaugural ISG National Golf Champion - Queensland September 2012

Inaugural winner Casey Rotary Golf Day 2012 - Part of the 'Dream Team'
Hole In One - 7th Hole Portsea GC - 9/10/2012
Long drive "champion" - Stinks 3 club challenge - 22/9/2013

Shipwreck Coast Classic - B Grade Men Winner (Warrnambool) - 9/11/2013

Inaugural holder - ISG TBPNTHWAOOM trophy - 2015

Eagle - Par 4 - 18th at St. Andrews Beach - 1/9/2015​
Holder - Brass yacht trophy - 2015

Player of the Year (VPGC) - 2015

Winner - ISG Tombstone event - Lang Lang - 4/9/2016

Half of 4BBB Champion team with Commish - 2016 National Event

Half of winning finalist - Doubles Match-play team (VPGC) - 2016

​Team member - Winners of Australian ...... Matchplay Championship - 18/11/2016

Veterans Champion (VPGC) - 2016 

 

"If a foursome is pressing you, wave them through - and then speed up." - Deane Beman

 

http://www.golflink....k_No=3013311351

 

Lowest ever handicap - 7.5

 


#1325 BarnEsy05

BarnEsy05

    FLABBERGASTED

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 29884 posts
  • LocationIn Disbelief

Posted 12 July 2016 - 01:53 PM

Ahhh....I knew that was a joke when you said that you drink beer. :-))

was waiting for it....  B)


  • Francie likes this

A

 

DON'T LET THE BLACK DOG WIN...

 

HELP IS OUT THERE

 
 
5 Time ISG NSW WBT Winner

2013 ISG NSW WBT COC Runner Up

2015 ISG NSW WBT COC

2nd ISG NSW Life Member Inductee

2012 Inaugural ISG National Supreme Putting Champion .

2013 ISG National Championships...13th place...now that's desperately unlucky

2013 ISG National Championships...3rd Place 2nd Round - Moonah Links
2014 ISG National Championships...13th place...no other golfer could be that desperately unlucky 2 years in a row!

2015 ISG National Championships...21st place...that's farked

2016 ISG National Championships...waaaaay down the list.

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Yarra Yarra Satellite Game 

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Huntingdale Satellite Game

2016 ISG National Championships...Captain of winning NSW Team, SOO.

2013 Inaugural Brass Yacht Winner

2014 Brass Yacht Winner

2015 Brass Yacht Runner-up

2016 Brass Yacht Winner

 

 

Life Motto: "If it's free, it's for me!"

 

 

 

 

Team Live4BarnEsy...forever undefeated angel-2-smiley-emoticon.gif

 
Desperately Unlucky ©


#1326 BarnEsy05

BarnEsy05

    FLABBERGASTED

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 29884 posts
  • LocationIn Disbelief

Posted 01 August 2016 - 12:15 PM

I ducked into Woolies on Friday arvo to buy some Dog food. I picked up up three cans and took them to the check out counter.

 

The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of people buy dog food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."

I went home, grabbed the dog and brought it back to the store. They then sold me the dog food.

 

On Saturday I went back to buy two cans of cat food for our neighbours cat.

Again, the cashier said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of people buy cat food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."

 

So back home I went and grabbed the cat, brought it to the store and they sold me the cat food.

 

On Sunday I went back to the cashier with a box with a hole in the lid. I  asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.

 

The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."

I  assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and quickly pulled it out. She said to me, "That smells like sh1t."

I said, "It is. I want to buy a roll of toilet paper!"

 

...and that's when the trouble started!


  • *Mouldy, Ji Bao He, RobNewy and 2 others like this

A

 

DON'T LET THE BLACK DOG WIN...

 

HELP IS OUT THERE

 
 
5 Time ISG NSW WBT Winner

2013 ISG NSW WBT COC Runner Up

2015 ISG NSW WBT COC

2nd ISG NSW Life Member Inductee

2012 Inaugural ISG National Supreme Putting Champion .

2013 ISG National Championships...13th place...now that's desperately unlucky

2013 ISG National Championships...3rd Place 2nd Round - Moonah Links
2014 ISG National Championships...13th place...no other golfer could be that desperately unlucky 2 years in a row!

2015 ISG National Championships...21st place...that's farked

2016 ISG National Championships...waaaaay down the list.

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Yarra Yarra Satellite Game 

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Huntingdale Satellite Game

2016 ISG National Championships...Captain of winning NSW Team, SOO.

2013 Inaugural Brass Yacht Winner

2014 Brass Yacht Winner

2015 Brass Yacht Runner-up

2016 Brass Yacht Winner

 

 

Life Motto: "If it's free, it's for me!"

 

 

 

 

Team Live4BarnEsy...forever undefeated angel-2-smiley-emoticon.gif

 
Desperately Unlucky ©


#1327 BarnEsy05

BarnEsy05

    FLABBERGASTED

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 29884 posts
  • LocationIn Disbelief

Posted 25 July 2017 - 01:45 PM

I was feeling a bit crook a few weeks ago so my missus sent me to the see the Doctor. 

 

He told me that I had 2 years to live!!

 

"OMG!" said the missus, "what did you do when he told you that?"

 

"I did what anyone in the same situation would do...I shot him".

 

The judge gave me 30 years!!

 

...and that's when the trouble started


  • Madambo, Tolmij and MaxxOn like this

A

 

DON'T LET THE BLACK DOG WIN...

 

HELP IS OUT THERE

 
 
5 Time ISG NSW WBT Winner

2013 ISG NSW WBT COC Runner Up

2015 ISG NSW WBT COC

2nd ISG NSW Life Member Inductee

2012 Inaugural ISG National Supreme Putting Champion .

2013 ISG National Championships...13th place...now that's desperately unlucky

2013 ISG National Championships...3rd Place 2nd Round - Moonah Links
2014 ISG National Championships...13th place...no other golfer could be that desperately unlucky 2 years in a row!

2015 ISG National Championships...21st place...that's farked

2016 ISG National Championships...waaaaay down the list.

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Yarra Yarra Satellite Game 

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Huntingdale Satellite Game

2016 ISG National Championships...Captain of winning NSW Team, SOO.

2013 Inaugural Brass Yacht Winner

2014 Brass Yacht Winner

2015 Brass Yacht Runner-up

2016 Brass Yacht Winner

 

 

Life Motto: "If it's free, it's for me!"

 

 

 

 

Team Live4BarnEsy...forever undefeated angel-2-smiley-emoticon.gif

 
Desperately Unlucky ©


#1328 OldBogey

OldBogey

    Defining and analysing humour is a pastime of humourless people

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 22521 posts
  • LocationRegional Victoria

Posted 25 July 2017 - 03:20 PM

It's been nearly a year since the previous 'trouble'.


  • BarnEsy05 likes this

#1329 BarnEsy05

BarnEsy05

    FLABBERGASTED

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 29884 posts
  • LocationIn Disbelief

Posted 25 July 2017 - 03:30 PM

It's been nearly a year since the previous 'trouble'.

Been a good boy.


  • MaxxOn likes this

A

 

DON'T LET THE BLACK DOG WIN...

 

HELP IS OUT THERE

 
 
5 Time ISG NSW WBT Winner

2013 ISG NSW WBT COC Runner Up

2015 ISG NSW WBT COC

2nd ISG NSW Life Member Inductee

2012 Inaugural ISG National Supreme Putting Champion .

2013 ISG National Championships...13th place...now that's desperately unlucky

2013 ISG National Championships...3rd Place 2nd Round - Moonah Links
2014 ISG National Championships...13th place...no other golfer could be that desperately unlucky 2 years in a row!

2015 ISG National Championships...21st place...that's farked

2016 ISG National Championships...waaaaay down the list.

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Yarra Yarra Satellite Game 

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Huntingdale Satellite Game

2016 ISG National Championships...Captain of winning NSW Team, SOO.

2013 Inaugural Brass Yacht Winner

2014 Brass Yacht Winner

2015 Brass Yacht Runner-up

2016 Brass Yacht Winner

 

 

Life Motto: "If it's free, it's for me!"

 

 

 

 

Team Live4BarnEsy...forever undefeated angel-2-smiley-emoticon.gif

 
Desperately Unlucky ©


#1330 BarnEsy05

BarnEsy05

    FLABBERGASTED

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 29884 posts
  • LocationIn Disbelief

Posted 31 July 2017 - 05:04 PM

The missus just asked me "Do you know what rhymes with Orange?"

 

"No it doesn't" I said.

 

...and that's when the trouble started!


  • RobNewy, Francie and MaxxOn like this

A

 

DON'T LET THE BLACK DOG WIN...

 

HELP IS OUT THERE

 
 
5 Time ISG NSW WBT Winner

2013 ISG NSW WBT COC Runner Up

2015 ISG NSW WBT COC

2nd ISG NSW Life Member Inductee

2012 Inaugural ISG National Supreme Putting Champion .

2013 ISG National Championships...13th place...now that's desperately unlucky

2013 ISG National Championships...3rd Place 2nd Round - Moonah Links
2014 ISG National Championships...13th place...no other golfer could be that desperately unlucky 2 years in a row!

2015 ISG National Championships...21st place...that's farked

2016 ISG National Championships...waaaaay down the list.

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Yarra Yarra Satellite Game 

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Huntingdale Satellite Game

2016 ISG National Championships...Captain of winning NSW Team, SOO.

2013 Inaugural Brass Yacht Winner

2014 Brass Yacht Winner

2015 Brass Yacht Runner-up

2016 Brass Yacht Winner

 

 

Life Motto: "If it's free, it's for me!"

 

 

 

 

Team Live4BarnEsy...forever undefeated angel-2-smiley-emoticon.gif

 
Desperately Unlucky ©


#1331 BarnEsy05

BarnEsy05

    FLABBERGASTED

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 29884 posts
  • LocationIn Disbelief

Posted 03 August 2017 - 10:29 AM

When we were in Canada recently, the missus said to me that she was worried about a being attacked by a bear.

 

I said to her that firstly it was winter and they are all hibernating...and secondly, if you do happen to be attacked, just play dead.

 

"Really?", she said, "that will work?"

 

"Well, no" I replied, "but it will be good practice for when you die a couple of minutes later."

 

...and that's when the trouble started!


  • BumpunRun, Madambo, RobNewy and 1 other like this

A

 

DON'T LET THE BLACK DOG WIN...

 

HELP IS OUT THERE

 
 
5 Time ISG NSW WBT Winner

2013 ISG NSW WBT COC Runner Up

2015 ISG NSW WBT COC

2nd ISG NSW Life Member Inductee

2012 Inaugural ISG National Supreme Putting Champion .

2013 ISG National Championships...13th place...now that's desperately unlucky

2013 ISG National Championships...3rd Place 2nd Round - Moonah Links
2014 ISG National Championships...13th place...no other golfer could be that desperately unlucky 2 years in a row!

2015 ISG National Championships...21st place...that's farked

2016 ISG National Championships...waaaaay down the list.

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Yarra Yarra Satellite Game 

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Huntingdale Satellite Game

2016 ISG National Championships...Captain of winning NSW Team, SOO.

2013 Inaugural Brass Yacht Winner

2014 Brass Yacht Winner

2015 Brass Yacht Runner-up

2016 Brass Yacht Winner

 

 

Life Motto: "If it's free, it's for me!"

 

 

 

 

Team Live4BarnEsy...forever undefeated angel-2-smiley-emoticon.gif

 
Desperately Unlucky ©


#1332 iRON MiCK

iRON MiCK

    Arnie's Army

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 10131 posts
  • Locationwww.iseekgolf.com

Posted 03 August 2017 - 12:07 PM

The Reverent

Whatever you do, you do to yourself

http://dorsetgolfclub.com.au/


#1333 Rusty_Chopper_1984

Rusty_Chopper_1984

    The Next Big Thing

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 11085 posts

Posted 05 August 2017 - 09:59 AM

The Reverent


Awesome movie
http://www.golflink....k_No=5012901532

2014 C Grade Winner OOM 2 Growling Frog

47 pts 55/40 off 35 at Kooringal Golf Club after shooting 107 first time I played it.

2014 Eagle on 15th par 4 at Rosebud Country Club on North/East.

2015 Eagle 17th hole at Trentham Golf Course.

2015 C Grade Winner 00M 2 Settlers Run

2015 Race to 18 Winner

2015 BHIC shortest Drive winner 61m

2015 Overall C Grade Runner up

Coached by the Supercoach as of Dec 2014.

Roy McAvoy: Such a pure feeling is the well struck golf shot.

#1334 BarnEsy05

BarnEsy05

    FLABBERGASTED

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 29884 posts
  • LocationIn Disbelief

Posted 09 August 2017 - 02:28 PM

Got dragged along by the missus to one of her old school friends' wedding the other week.

Whispered to the bloke sitting next to me "Bejazus, that's one ugly bride!"

"Do you mind!" came the reply "That's my daughter."

"I'm really sorry about that", I said, "I didn't realise you were her father".

"Im not, i'm her mother!"

...and that's when the trouble started!
  • OldBogey, Francie and MaxxOn like this

A

 

DON'T LET THE BLACK DOG WIN...

 

HELP IS OUT THERE

 
 
5 Time ISG NSW WBT Winner

2013 ISG NSW WBT COC Runner Up

2015 ISG NSW WBT COC

2nd ISG NSW Life Member Inductee

2012 Inaugural ISG National Supreme Putting Champion .

2013 ISG National Championships...13th place...now that's desperately unlucky

2013 ISG National Championships...3rd Place 2nd Round - Moonah Links
2014 ISG National Championships...13th place...no other golfer could be that desperately unlucky 2 years in a row!

2015 ISG National Championships...21st place...that's farked

2016 ISG National Championships...waaaaay down the list.

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Yarra Yarra Satellite Game 

2016 ISG National Championships...2nd place Huntingdale Satellite Game

2016 ISG National Championships...Captain of winning NSW Team, SOO.

2013 Inaugural Brass Yacht Winner

2014 Brass Yacht Winner

2015 Brass Yacht Runner-up

2016 Brass Yacht Winner

 

 

Life Motto: "If it's free, it's for me!"

 

 

 

 

Team Live4BarnEsy...forever undefeated angel-2-smiley-emoticon.gif

 
Desperately Unlucky ©


#1335 Bully_BushRanger

Bully_BushRanger

    King Epon

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2329 posts
  • LocationSomewhere in my mind

Posted 18 August 2017 - 10:46 PM

I was talking to a lady golfer friend about her last round.

She told me a bee stung her between the first and second holes.

I said "Maybe your stance is too wide!"

...and that's when the trouble started.
  • pegasus2357, BarnEsy05, RobNewy and 6 others like this

ISG Vic 2013 MatchPlay Champion

 

ISG Vic 2014 MatchPlay Semi Finalist

 

ISG Vic OOM #3 Champion Sunday June 1st 2014 Heritage Henley Course (38 points with 2 wipes) Bout friggin time!!!!

 

ISG Vic OOM #4 Champion Sunday October 5th 2014 Sandhurst Champions Course (42 points with 0 wipes, 79 off the beater!!) Back to Back Baby!!!!

 

Caddy of the Year 2015 NWRGA

 

Kiwi "THE LEGEND"





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users