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...and that's when the trouble started!


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#16 Commish

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Posted 28 November 2008 - 07:58 PM

Now that's good. So were the others by the way.

#17 BarnEsy05

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Posted 01 December 2008 - 07:26 PM

Returning home after a hard day on the golf course I settled down to watch the end of the Masters with a tinnie or two. Not long afterwards, the missus walked past, just having arrived home from work & sarcastically asked “What’s on the telly?” “Dust” I said. ...and that’s when the trouble started!

#18 Shimonko

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Posted 01 December 2008 - 07:41 PM

Short and funny...

#19 BarnEsy05

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Posted 02 December 2008 - 06:40 PM

I was out shopping in Woolies with the wife the other day when we got separated. An hour later I finally caught up with her and she asked where I had been for so long. I explained to her that as I was pushing my trolley around searching for her I collided with a young bloke pushing his trolley. I said to the young bloke, “Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going”. He said, “That's OK. What a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I’m getting a little desperate.” I said, “Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?” The young bloke said, “Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?” “Doesn't matter” I said. “Let's look for yours!” ...and that’s when the trouble started!

#20 BarnEsy05

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Posted 03 December 2008 - 08:09 PM

The other night I got into bed & started rubbing the wife's arm. She turned over and said "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." I was shattered at the rejection so I turned over in a huff. A few minutes later, I rolled back over and tapped her on the shoudler. "Do you have a dental appointment tomorrow too?" ...and that’s when the trouble started!

#21 Cliffmanley

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Posted 04 December 2008 - 04:02 PM

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a set of scales. ...and that's when the trouble started!

#22 BarnEsy05

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Posted 04 December 2008 - 06:27 PM

Excellent...more!!!!

#23 BarnEsy05

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Posted 04 December 2008 - 08:11 PM

It’s was my anniversary recently, 20 years. Anyway, I asked the missus “What would you like for an anniversary present?” “A divorce.” She said. I said “F**k! I didn’t want to spend that much! ...and that’s when the trouble started!

#24 Cliffmanley

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Posted 04 December 2008 - 10:41 PM

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a petrol station... ...and that’s when the trouble started!

#25 Cliffmanley

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Posted 04 December 2008 - 10:42 PM

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' she sighed, 'he's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says I, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' ...and that’s when the trouble started!

#26 Cliffmanley

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Posted 04 December 2008 - 10:44 PM

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' ...and that’s when the trouble started!

#27 BarnEsy05

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Posted 04 December 2008 - 11:04 PM

Someone call the Fire Brigade...Cliff is burning it up!!! :)

#28 Cliffmanley

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Posted 04 December 2008 - 11:39 PM

yep, I must admit these are some of favourite jokes, and I ran across this lot this morning... didn't want to hijack your thread, but I couldn't resist...

#29 DiggaBryce

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Posted 04 December 2008 - 11:49 PM

Some of these jokes make my day.... keep it up.

#30 Shimonko

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Posted 05 December 2008 - 01:02 AM

A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together. When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a BJ?" "What? You're crazy!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem." "No!! Someone may see -- a relative, a neighbor..." "At this time of the night? No one will show up..." "I've already said No, and NO!" "Honey, it's just a small blowie...I know you'd like it, too..." "No! I've said NO!" "My love... Don't be like that..." At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!" ...and that’s when the trouble started!




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