81 replies to this topic

[Jamey]

Peter Thompson on Jack designing golf courses......"Nicklaus courses are like Jack himself, grim and humorless with sharp edges" Robert Allenby on golf....."The game is 95% in the head and those who say it is not are stupid" Aaron Baddeley on winning a tournament....."This is for you Jesus" Any other ones you have..post em up...

[Shane01]

Best one I have ever heard was on the course a few years back. I hit a low ugly drive off the bottom of the Driver that with the aid of a lot of run went about 200m up the middle of the fairway. My playing partner who was a good mate of mine said: "That one is like roo%ing your sister. You're up there but you're not proud of it".

[The good Egg]

or a cathy freeman "its ugly ,but it runs good"

[Drgribuls]

this was uttered by an old guy a couple of weeks back at my course. to his playing partner who was having a tantrum "pick your bottom lip up or i'll drop you off at the carpark and you can f*%k off home!"

[IwishIwasgood]

my favorite is when you hit a horrible looking shot but with a favorable outcome. " Ugly but effective-- I had a girlfriend like that once" Or my brothers fav. "Geez i whack my balls well" when a nice shot was played.

[MightyWallop]

I don't think you can go past the 'I think your problem is you're standing too close to the ball..... after you've hit it' Another one that is a pleasure to hear after you've sliced the ball across three fairways is 'Gee, you really cut the ears off that one!'

[pt73]

"The secret is in the dirt" - Common answer Hogan gave when asked how he played so well.

[Cliffmanley]

Heard often on Queanbeyan Golf Course in Winter at -6 "Confusious say, 'Man with hand in pocket, always on Ball.'"

[racinfarmer]

[Cliffmanley]

Total Consciousness, Totally wasted on Bill Murray, or should I say Carl Spackler....!

[Leroy]

On the simplicity of the game.. "Hit ball in hole; use stick"

[K K Kenny]

Said to player with a very wild swing "you had everything moving then except your bowels" One of my own favourites said to a playing partner. Him " I'm going to hit this 9 iron over that tree with a little draw onto the middle of the green" Whack - along the ground into the bushes Me "well you had it partly right......It was a 9 iron"

[wormburner1]

I don’t think you can go past the ‘I think your problem is you’re standing too close to the ball….. after you’ve hit it’

winner so far!

[wormburner1]

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. TIGER WOODS

[wormburner1]

''The next time a photographer shoots an f...n picture,'' Woods warned, ``I'm going to break hisf..n neck.'' no mincing words there!