Computer skills

ForumsThe Lounge | 20 posts
 

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A grey one…
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Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk.. sorry….
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Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Woman customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on ‘start’ for me and.
Customer: Listen; don’t start getting technical with me! I’m not Bill Gates you know!
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can’t find it…
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Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Nooo…Aaaah…................
thank you.
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Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in Woolies.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…this one works …
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters or lower case ?
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Customer: II can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: five little stars.!
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Outlook Express
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…it’s Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’
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And last but not least…

Tech support: ‘Okay Colin, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter ‘P ’ to bring up the Program Manager.’
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: ‘P’.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: “No Way”, I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Political Correctness is doctrine fostered by a delusional minority and by the media, which holds forth the proposition it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

'If you can read this, thank a teacher, and since it's in English,

 

Lol guaranteed the average age of the caller was well over 45 :-)

100% perfect is a sad neurotic state of mind. Better than yesterday is saner. - Dart, 2008.

http://www.golflink.com.au/...



 

Lol guaranteed the average age of the caller was well over 45 :-)

1-L, it is all there my friend.

http://www.golflink.com.au/...

ageist bastard;-)
I am well over 45 ,actually 33% over 45, but one of my mates in particular came to mind.
One of the funniest I have read.

 

Mr C . please keep your comments to your self. My inabilaty to use a computer has nothing whatsoever to do with my age…...... well…...........!

A bad day on the golf course is better than no golf at all. :(

“The older I get the better I used to be!”
Lee Trevino


http://www.golflink.com.au:...

 

I used to work in Data Support for Vodafone, trust me, age has nothing to do with being an idiot.

 

any time you find you’re in trouble with your computer just press “ctrl + f4” – all your problems will disappear.

Try it now and see if it works hehe!

Its better to stay silent and look a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt

- Mark Twain

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an unchartered land,or opened a new heaven to the human spirit

- Helen Keller

 

ctrl alt delete
task manager…
end task

If Tiger plays Lefty will he be that good ?
Square is Good ? Sure is, if it's the right stick !
Good Golf is Fun plus the Great Outdoors...
In the Bag: Clubs and Balls. My Handicap is Bad Golf.

 

Styles I think you’ll find that fix is ‘Alt + F4’.

 

Very funny….

Mrc, I’m shocked! Apparently the biggest users of webcams in Aus are over 55!

The difference between golf and the government is that in
golf you can't improve your lie!

 

LMAO, picture that MrC, old wrinkly people having cam ‘love’.

 

Very funny….

Mrc, I’m shocked! Apparently the biggest users of webcams in Aus are over 55!

wonder WHy ?
online dating ….

If Tiger plays Lefty will he be that good ?
Square is Good ? Sure is, if it's the right stick !
Good Golf is Fun plus the Great Outdoors...
In the Bag: Clubs and Balls. My Handicap is Bad Golf.

 

Very funny….

Mrc, I’m shocked! Apparently the biggest users of webcams in Aus are over 55!

wonder WHy ?
online dating ….

If Tiger plays Lefty will he be that good ?
Square is Good ? Sure is, if it’s the right stick !
Good Golf is Fun plus the Great Outdoors…
In the Bag: Clubs and Balls. My Handicap is Bad Golf.

Online peep shows more to the point!

Political Correctness is doctrine fostered by a delusional minority and by the media, which holds forth the proposition it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

'If you can read this, thank a teacher, and since it's in English,

 

Ha, knew that comment would get a rise out of you lot XD And you all surely know that it is the grand kids of those over 55s that are installing those webcams ;-)

P.s. Franky, that is disturbing… Even more disturbing is that I was already thinking along those lines before I saw your post :O

100% perfect is a sad neurotic state of mind. Better than yesterday is saner. - Dart, 2008.

http://www.golflink.com.au/...



 

The boring truth of it boys is that the over 55’s are keeping in touch with family (grandchildren)...they refer to them as ‘Silver Surfers’ haha I like that….so no disturbing images of oldies having ‘cam love’ as franky put it!

The difference between golf and the government is that in
golf you can't improve your lie!

 

Actually my mum just got a webcam for that very reason. Of course… yours truly will be carrying out the installation. Its definately a good idea with some of our family overseas.

100% perfect is a sad neurotic state of mind. Better than yesterday is saner. - Dart, 2008.

http://www.golflink.com.au/...



 

Just remember that all the electronics in use in the world today were invented by people who are now well over 45.

We started it all.

Trentham Golf Club
http://www.trenthamgolf.com

 

Just remember that all the electronics in use in the world today were invented by people who are now well over 45.

We started it all.

Trentham Golf Club
http://www.trenthamgolf.com

Yea but the poms started cricket too, hoes that goin for em ;-P

100% perfect is a sad neurotic state of mind. Better than yesterday is saner. - Dart, 2008.

http://www.golflink.com.au/...



 

Just remember that all the electronics in use in the world today were invented by people who are now well over 45.

We started it all.

Trentham Golf Club
http://www.trenthamgolf.com

Yea but the poms started cricket too, hoes that goin for em ;-P

100% perfect is a sad neurotic state of mind. Better than yesterday is saner. – Dart, 2008.

http://www.golflink.com.au/...

and apparently golf too ?

If Tiger plays Lefty will he be that good ?
Square is Good ? Sure is, if it's the right stick !
Good Golf is Fun plus the Great Outdoors...
In the Bag: Clubs and Balls. My Handicap is Bad Golf.

 

KYC, you might get an arguement with a Dutchman (debatable)but certainly a Scotsman

Golf tips are like aspirin, one may do you good, but swallow the bottle and you will be lucky to survive. Harvey Penick

 

Just remember that all the electronics in use in the world today were invented by people who are now well over 45.

We started it all.

Trentham Golf Club
http://www.trenthamgolf.com

Yea but the poms started cricket too, hoes that goin for em ;-P

100% perfect is a sad neurotic state of mind. Better than yesterday is saner. – Dart, 2008.

http://www.golflink.com.au/...

and apparently golf too ?

If Tiger plays Lefty will he be that good ?
Square is Good ? Sure is, if it’s the right stick !
Good Golf is Fun plus the Great Outdoors…
In the Bag: Clubs and Balls. My Handicap is Bad Golf.

KYC

Wash your mouth out man :).....the Scots started golf according to history, not the Poms.Two distinctly separate breeds as either one would be very quick to tell you in plainly blunt terms.

Show up, keep up, shut up.

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