THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY
MARRIED FOR YEARS.

THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND’S
HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD
WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER
GASP FOR AIR.

EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING
THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN’T.STOP
IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR,
SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.

THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN
ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER
AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK,
GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO
HER.

SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS
SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK
THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY
GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS
USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE
SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE
COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING,
TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM
BACK PRE TT Y GOOD..

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS
IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE
BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATT ER.

HE SAID, “HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.” “ALL THESE YEARS YOU
HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN’T LISTEN TO YOU”.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” ASKED HIS WIFE.

“WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP
FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.”

BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I
THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.”

Yuk

I,ll second that.

Funny but yuk lol

even the queen farts in bed

Lots of LOL but i’ll second the others YUK.

I love practical jokes and that would be a classic.

While we’re on the subject.

An elderly couple was attending church services,
about halfway through she leans over and says,
“I just had a silent fart what do you think I should do?”
He replies “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”

Thats a top joke. Gold!

Thats a classic socks.

Pay that one.

Do that with me and you will get whipped…...

Promise??

Promise??

What is it with you and women with weapons?

Promise??

only if you are married.

Not interested otherwise!

Carefull Mydogownsme i reckon Mistress is either a guy or your missus testing you ; )

Carefull Mydogownsme i reckon Mistress is either a guy or your missus testing you ; )

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Socks.

interested are we?

BTW…have you ever followed through?

Where are the PM’s on this?.

Nope

Maybe ; P

No pm’s here

Carefull Mydogownsme i reckon Mistress is either a guy or your missus testing you ; )

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Socks.

interested are we?

BTW…have you ever followed through?

Where are the PM’s on this?.

Could be Spam.
Trying to drum up a little trade.

LOL

Did you use vaseline and two fingers in the process?

Nope, I actually play a bit of golf and came across this forum on a tip from a colleague.

Great to be here.

And Guys….yes I’m a female with real Tits!

LOL

Did you use vaseline and two fingers in the process?

why are you a vaseline salesman?

LOL

Did you use vaseline and two fingers in the process?

Nope, I actually play a bit of golf and came across this forum on a tip from a colleague.

Great to be here.

And Guys….yes I’m a female with real Tits!

Better watch out for the M.C.P,s. on this forum. Apparently the place is full of them.

LOL

Did you use vaseline and two fingers in the process?

Nope, I actually play a bit of golf and came across this forum on a tip from a colleague.

Great to be here.

And Guys….yes I’m a female with real Tits!

Better watch out for the M.C.P,s. on this forum. Apparently the place is full of them.

A bad day on the golf course is better than no golf at all. :(

No one who ever had a lesson would have a swing like mine

Lee Trevino

Yep We’re everywhere

do they bite?

There bark is usually worse than there bite . I think many of them are old & toothless.(me included.)

Ah..

Where are all the real men.

Bet you Adam Scott does not follow through.

In the bedroom that is!