Two peewee juniors out on course.

Scores are level with 2 holes to play. Par 3 and the 9 yo with a 36 handicap has laid up to pitch onto the green. Makes the shot leaving a 12 putt. Older lad (11), who only has 1 shot for the hole, is in the front bunker about to make his second shot.

“Do I get 3 for FIVE if I sink this one?”

If thats not putting pressure on a shot I don’t know what would:)

For the record 4-4 was enough to win the hole and the game.

We have a regular game every Sunday and the banter always starts on the way to the course. One of the guys has had a groin strain for a while, an old footy injury. He struggles to get down to get the ball out of the cup.

Anyway, the other week he sinks his putt from a few feet and one guy in the group bends down and collects his ball from the cup for him. He says “thanks” and the other guy comes back straight away and says “its f**n embrassing watching you courtsey!”

To which we all rolled around on the green laughing….

I once played a practical joke on a work associate of mine the night before we were to play in a corporate/business day. He was talking it up that he would beat me and my partner as it was to be a 2 person Ambrose. I gaffer taped up his irons and put them back in his golf bag, put 2-part expoxy into his bag compartment of which contained his golf balls, tee’s and glove and to top it off, I changed his wake up alarm as I could being the Assistant Manager of the Golf Resort the night before at the time. We get to the first tee the next morning, my work associate was late and when he went to open up his golf bag and pull out a club, it was all on. My partner and I did win on the day and did sledging occur on the golf course? It sure did but we had a great day.

I got a good one in the other week. Playing in a group with a guy who was long off the tee, playing 5 bucks a side, come to the 8th hole which is a par 5 and we both drive down the middle.

He was about 30 past me off the tee and he was ribbing me nicely about hitting it past me again.

I pulled out a 3 wood and said ‘doesn’t matter what I use to hit it on when I make eagle I guess’, proceeded to hit probably the best shot I have ever hit, drawing a 3 wood from 220ish around a bend to 8 feet. The shot was great to hit, but the look on my playing partners face when he realised I had talked the talk and walked the walk made it even better. (And I dropped the putt)!

Of course, I could quite easily have ended up looking like a goose!

There are a few standard ones that come out when playing with mates stuff like.

Leave a putt short and partner will say ‘you dropped something’, instinctively you look around and the ythen say ’ your lipstick’.

Or when they have a regulation chip or pitch and mess it up and just hit the green you say ’ nice shot, got a putt’.

My brother in law is the best though…he is standing over his shot and is still sledging other players in the group as he hits it!

As the putt comes up short “G-string a bit tight today?”

the course where i’m a member is very tight. hit it off line and your in the bush. the best sledge i heard after a mate hit it in deep was ” while your in there see if you can find the 1976 hidey-go-seek champion” or
“even if that was wrapped in bacon lassie couldn’t find it”

sb

good comment to a bloke with a wild swing

“you had everything moving then except your bowels”

“even if that was wrapped in bacon lassie couldn’t find it”

sb

if i can see it, i can hit it, if i can hit i can hole it
arnold palmer

I’m going to use that :-)

‘Does your husband play much?’ when leaving putts short.

My God…..your hands look absolutely perfect at the top of your backswing!

“Nice putt! Do they make them in mens?”

Playing in the Club Foursomes Championships, my partner was lining up a putt, he was walking up the line cleaning loose impediments and checking the green. One of the players in the other team said, “Your walking on the line!” which as we all know is illegal, and I may just add here that he probably was.

My partner stopped, turned to look at the other player and said, “I haven’t chosen the line yet….” boy did I kill myself laughing, it still makes me smile….I tell that story a lot….

good comment to a bloke with a wild swing

“you had everything moving then except your bowels”

I’m going to use that one as well!

Used the lassie one at Muirfield, it went down a treat!

An old favourite of mine is used when one of your playing partners leaves a putt short.Tell them they should get the “shit “off the end of the putter, and when the look at the putter head you say to them,”no no the other end!”

cheers

Perhaps this is not a sledge but when my other half isn’t playing in her ladies comp, she caddies for me in pennants. Short skirt, tight top, get the picture? It sure puts off the enemy and I have not lost a game without her. Sadly, I lose when she is not caddying and it is a bit of a joke around the club and the boys tell me to put a skirt on.

As you do, you give it back at a chosen time and place. When I play with the boys in a sat comp or a midweek one, a good one I say is “need some help from da brothers?” when a shot has gone bush or when a shot is hit indifferently from a playing partner?... be honest, “not much enjoyment in that shot mate.” The more you can sledge your mates and then really down them, the better. If they are not a good mate and cannot take the sledge, perhaps not the best thing to do though.

“Apart from the line and length, that was the greatest putt I’ve ever seen”

I will pay that in Euro.