There are just too many truths here -

Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 30 separate thoughts in your mind
during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either
hit one more club or two more balls.

If you’re afraid a full shot might reach the green while the
foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you
can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear
and top a ball halfway there.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play
worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant
elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to
compensate for all of your many other errors.

If it ain’t broke, try changing your grip.

Everyone replaces their divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents’
luck.

It’s surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt. for a 10.

It’s not a gimme if you’re still away.

There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just
the way you meant to play it.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch
branch 90% of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it
up at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is
actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you’ve looked up, causing an awful shot, you will always
look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching
the ball if you ever want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he’s duty bound to
subsequently make a triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium
of the universe.

To calculate the speed of a player’s downswing, multiply the
speed of his back-swing by his handicap; i.e., back-swing 20 mph,
handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing
at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you
have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your
ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the
footprint.

It’s easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to
mow the lawn.

Sometimes it seems as though your cup moveth over.

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from
giving up the game.

A good ‘foursomes’ partner is one who’s always slightly worse
than you are….

If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your
life.

Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white. They’re sold by the
dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house
will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his bunkers.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six
or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to
become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don’t get to ride around
on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart if you are performing brain
surgery.

Can’t stop laughing!!!

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing
at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you
have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Great quote. I think Pennick said this.

I think that ones my Fav quote too!

Nice post, some of it is so true too.

lol!

excellent

You have summarised my life on a sturday morning

Thanks for posting….can’t stop giggling in office

Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it.

Laugh!!! I fogged up my glasses crying .. I was about to copy my favorite but realised I would just do a full copy .. I think they are so funny because some are so true

Good stuff, very funny and painfully true.

brilliant, but true..

thankyou!!!!

what a pisscutter. that makes eddie murphy look like hes not funny. classic.